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Here it is, the last day of 2017. This is definitely pretty insane, I remember writing in January about how I know this year could be awesome, and man was I right. It was such an incredible journey and awakening for me as a person and in my growth. Today I want to create one final post for you guys for 2017 to go out with a bang, to represent my second FAVORITE album of the entire year, Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato. I already did posts around my first and third favorite albums and I’ll link them. Now is time to tell you why you should tell Demi you love her. I did two shoots for this theme, one I named Sorry Not Sorry after her first single, and it was SUCH a fun shoot!! The second is named after the album title with the shirt/only merch I’ve gotten from the era so far. There will be more, there’s always more. πŸ™‚

The pressure’s on for me to finish this blog post by like 3pm, and I believe I can do it. I was up late last night editing pictures and FINALLY finished with that so today I have those ready and now I gotta let my words flow. That’s always the most natural part of the process. Makes me smile hard to get to blog like this. This is so freakin’ fun to me. Anyway, I’d like to introduce you to the first shoot, which includes like the PERFECT dress for New Year’s Eve, and I named this blogshoot Sorry Not Sorry and I can’t wait to walk you through why.


Now I’m out here looking like revenge, feeling like a 10, the best I’ve ever been

And yeah I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this, but it gets worse…(wait a minute)

Now you’re out here lookin’ like regret, ain’t too proud to beg, [millionth] chance you’ll never get, and I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this…but it gets worse πŸ˜‰

Outfit Details – Alice in Chains Dress by Nasty Gal Collections, one of my FAVORITE pieces of clothing that I own! Original price $248 but I was like uh whoaaa I do not have that kind of money, but I’ll tell you more about the sale and stuff from almost a year ago.

  • Dress – A beautiful relic from back when Nasty Gal was my FAVORITE clothing place. I remember when this dress first dropped online and I ADORED it I’ve always wanted a sequin dress + I LOVE chains, but the price was $248 so I was like whoa I guess I’m going to have to forget about that dress because there’s no way lol…But on one beautiful day they had one of their first 70% off sales that I had seen, and there was only a couple left of these dresses and they were in my size so I snatched it SO fast! And I think they’re having a 70% off sale right now too for the end of the year!
  • Sorry that was a long rant about the dress. Lol the amethyst pendant is my lucky charm and I got it from More Than Rocks.
  • I was barefoot and had nothing else in the look for two reasons: The dress is busy and bold and glamorous so it doesn’t need much else to it, and also symbolism. I love that I can do shoots like this spending hours of my time in my room, barefoot, in a dress made of chains and sequins, and it’s so incredible.

Now payback is a bad bitch,

And baby, I’m the baddest

You fuckin’ with a savage

Can’t have this, can’t have this πŸ™‚

And it’d be nice for me to take it easy on ya, but nahhh…

I love the sass of this shoot. Not too much sass, but the right amount. I wanna talk about the song by Demi Lovato, Sorry Not Sorry. When it first dropped I became OBSESSED and still adore it even after all the infallible, excessive radio play. I seriously still adore it. Anyway, the whole point of this song from my perspective/blog post is that I’m NOT sorry that I’m doing amazing in life. I’m NOT sorry that I’m happy! Bein’ so bad, posting with sass, all over everywhere social media, not going to apologize for my life, not going to apologize for my relationship, not going to apologize for my blog content. Every day I get guilt tripped with someone trying to convince me that their misery is my fault, ANYTHING to keep me from getting stronger, loving my body, LOVING my face even if you made fun of my breakouts…I hold all the power when I choose how I want to react and feel. πŸ™‚ And if my happiness hurts someone else, I wish you well. That’s all I can say. I hope you find peace. PS I’ve gone a long way from Chain Mail, the shoot I did when I first got this dress!


Bein’ so bad got me feelin’ so good! Showin’ you up, like I know that I would!

Feeling inspired, ’cause the tables have turned. Yeah I’m a fire, and I know that it burns.

Makeup Details –

If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m really proud of this look and photoshoot. It’s a milestone for me and it helps me end this era to begin an entire other era tomorrow, 2018. I’m so excited. It’s going to be the best year of my life.

I wish I bought SOOO much Demi merch because I’m SO obsessed with this album but all I got was this shirt, that’s okay though, I call this Tell Me You Love MeΒ after the album and it includes lots of different dynamic greens n stuff! Haha

tell me you love me

Tell me you love me, I need someone on days like this, I do. On days like this

Oh can you hear my heart say-

Such a fun shoot, but I was pushing myself with time so it’s not as extensive as the first one. Mom came in to chat with me while I was takin’ pics so now she’s just modeling with me and she’s fantastic at it. Which is good, because I wanted to mention that she got me these leggings for Christmas! They’re so comfy! Outfit deats:

  • Shirt from Demi Lovato‘s official merch store that I’m obsessed with. Pre-ordered this shirt and a couple signed CDs in August and just now got them though.
  • Leggings, Christmas present!! From mom!! She rocks so big! They’re super comfy, she always gets these kinds of pants for herself so she got me some this year and turns out I’m in love with them too.
  • Over-the-knee Olive boots from my third Stitchfix box, and I’m obsessed with these! I told them I wanted some cool shoes for winter (I have so many summer shoes) and they sent me these and I’M OBSESSED! Love Love!
  • I don’t know why, but I felt like layering on tons of different greens. An earthy olive, forest green leggings and for some reason a very pale green flannel? It’s like, a really really light touch of green overall but then there’s places where there’s green stripes. Idk it was fun. I got this flannel from a friend πŸ™‚
  • Honestly one of my favorite gifts was this stunning necklace from Danon, it’s sterling silver and there’s two hearts, for me and him. He’s like “Obviously you’re the gold one” hahaha, it’s so adorable, like my favorite necklace that I wore when I met him kept getting lost and broken so he gives me this that also has the two little charm thing as my other one, but this one is super sparkly and amazing and has way more sentimental value (I still value the other one though since I wore it for the first like entire month that we knew each other) That boy… So thoughtful. Adorable.

Intoxicate me gently with your lovin’, you got me so high!! Pull me closer into you and watch our bodies intertwine. πŸ™‚ – Sexy Dirty Love (track 3 of the album)

I wanna show you some of the awesome details as best as I can, my sterling silver/crystal jewelry is my favorite thing ever! Just little details.

My sterling silver rings are like my fave everyday things, like the snake one my mom got me for my 17th birthday, and like the dainty one she got me for Christmas this year. She’s adorable. Also, some of those bracelets are just made out of like amethyst and stuff but my amazing stepmom Jessie also made like one or two of those. I loved how it all looked together. I’m not really a jewelry person, but yesterday I was.

Makeup details include Huda Beauty lip contour liner in Cheerleader with Smashbox’s Be Legendary lipsticks in Legendary

There’s one of these Demi songs where, well like this part I think kinda describes a little of how I’m transitioning into 2018. Half of my 2017 was in pain and hurt but the most beautiful thing I’ve learned is I can see the future without her, one brighter than I ever could’ve comprehended a year ago.

I see the future without you. The hell was I doing in the past? Now that I’ve learned all about you, a love just like ours wouldn’t last. I won’t fall for your games …Vices and pity won’t solve [your problems], stop feeling bad for yourself. I won’t fall for your games

My favorite part of the whole year was my concert experiences and getting closer aquanted with myself and my heart and my BLOGGING! I’m pouring my heart and soul into this, working so avidly yet trying to take my time, and it’s fun. It’s beautiful. And if you made it through that blog post journey down to here, then I wanna say thank you. It’s sweet of you to either skim my words or even be moved by something I say. I always feel like blogging is just like my thing, like it’s modeling and photography and whatever te hell I want it to be because I’m in control, and so that also means…stay tuned for some REAL big awesome updates this New Year. Whole restructuring. I’m taking this to the next level and beyond!

LEFTOVERS – (meaning I’m done with this post but here’s the content/junk I have left over)

Banner for this shoot that I made but decided I didn’t like: oh wait there’s two:

It’s fun editing this stuff but honestly this post has stressed me the fuck out. Because I gave myself this deadline and it made it so my ENTIRE day was 6 hours straight of me working on this and not moving from this chair (I think I got up twice to pee) but you know what? Worth it. I’m not always gonna put so much time and effort into every single post, but I put effort into the ones that I WANT to put effort into. I wanted this to be what it is, and now, it is what it is. And I’m glad for that πŸ™‚ Hahaha some more random pictures and then a hybrid quote thing between the lyrics to Hitchhiker (by Demi, from this album) with me tying it into my life. It already relates a lot to my life though. Happy New Year guys, seriously make this one count πŸ™‚ You know you can!

…I can’t explain what’s going on
Something happened when [Danon] came along
It’s me driving me crazy, crazy :pΒ 
You’re taking me to new places, and I pretend I’m not anxious but oooh, ohh… you’re driving me crazy, crazy πŸ˜›
I was walking down this broken road, I was stranded, I was all alone
I was playing it safe when it came to love
But then you came and picked me up…
…And as long as you’re the driver, I’m your hitchiker… πŸ™‚

Happy New Year!