I’m excited about this blog post and photoshoot, I had a lot of fun with my mom and Maren for it. Maren, my cousin, came over here to visit us last month to help us pack up our living room and kitchen, preparing for our remodel that’s finally happening. It was interesting, moving things and packing them up, and Maren worked pretty hard to help us, we we’re grateful to have her over. The two of us used to do these dance-off or music video types of videos way back in the day when we were a whole lot younger, like 2011 and before. One of the examples is on YouTube like this one, but we did a couple videos before that which I’ll eventually find (on my old laptop), and then I’ll post those on YouTube too. Anyway, so of course we had to do a photoshoot 10 years later when she comes to visit us here in Seattle again, so we went to a playground and got some good pictures. The lighting kept fluctuating so we have a few different kinds of lighting for this, but I love how the shoot turned out anyway. We all kind of took turns taking the pictures, standing on all the different playground things to play on. This was a good collaboration, I love what we did with it and how it turned out. The shoot was actually last month but I’m finally getting it up now, probably the last post I’ll do before I get my hair dyed again, so this is a good one. I’m catching up with all my shoots now too, once I get this up it’ll be a fresh slate for me to start shooting again, but I was taking a break from it for a while other than this one actually. We’ll see what comes next for the blog, but doing things like this one is always cool for me anyway, something unique that I can use to change up my perspectives. I don’t think I get too typical or repetitive with my shoots or posts, I think I’m always doing something new or good that I can use to frame myself better, but collaborations are always a unique icing for the cake that changes things up even more. They make it better for me to try with, something that speaks up differently and will never sound the same. I’m glad I’m finally all caught up with shoots this year, I’ve been behind for quite a while but I know exactly what to do next! Great news about this shoot with Maren, now let’s get into it finally.Continue reading
It’s a good afternoon here for me, I’ve been really liking my consistent nature with blogging these days. I blog 2-3 times a month these days, and I’m doing pretty well with it here at home. On my days off I don’t do much, just watch cartoons or listen to music. I finally finished Breaking Bad again, as well as Better Call Saul, and that was a good era of watching those. I don’t normally watch shows like that but I love them when I do, so much. Dang, this month has been kind of hard for me, and I’m trying to get back to good habits these days. I stopped smoking cigarettes for a while but now I’m back at them. I go through them so quickly, too. But I’ll get out of this, and find something that serves me. For example, Matt & I did this photoshoot together at the park down the road from my house, and it turned out okay but we had some lighting problems. It was raining outside, so that was interesting. I lost my camera’s microfiber cloth but it was okay since Matt had one in his car. I swear, even though Matt & I are taking a break from hanging out for a bit, we have a cool kind of chemistry with doing photoshoots together. I created a category for my photoshoots called by Matt, so you can check that out and see all of what we’ve done together so far. I have done so much for this blog just by myself, so it’s refreshing to do something with someone else. Care Label is good, I was wearing a key around my neck and a key around my waist, both being the same key actually. It originally goes to a lockbox, but I don’t even have one that works anymore. I have one pink lockbox with a broken lock, and that’s about it. I’ve mentioned a bunch of different silver keys in my blog posts over the past 6 months (or year) and they’re pretty significant to me, they hold a lot of metaphorical meaning. I mean, the lock on my bedroom door doesn’t even work yet I have a key for that. It’s on a necklace right now, I’ll post it sometime. I have like 10 different keys in terms of jewelry. Oh but how I love this top from MissGuided, I did an order for there earlier this spring. I just love this crop top, it has a care label on it, saying how to wash it & such. Let’s get into this photoshoot!Continue reading
Today I have something really cool I’ve waited a year to post. For a long time this was actually the last photoshoot I had done before a big break in between the years but I’m finally getting it down. Moodswings is similar to Save Yourself in that it was inspired the same artist as Moodswings, who opened for Lights in August 2019. Tillie, is who it is. I included the shirt I got from the concert, but I also got a choker. What I really like about this photoshoot is that it’s another dark-outside type. Matt was the one I did this shoot with too, he took most of the pictures. So here’s this one! Sorry for the crazy order of my posts, but 2019 & 2020 went hand in hand for posting because I was trying to fill in wherever I did a photoshoot that I never posted. So the cool thing about my tiled galleries is they speak volumes, like whether or not in order. So Moodswings was an outside photoshoot of mine with another merch shirt from yet another concert.Continue reading
Well I would say that it’s been a while. One year of photoshoots and I’ve completely altered my point of view of myself. I started off struggling to keep a rhythm with how I felt everyday, and yet I was so rhythmic with my blogging to the point of 4-5 posts a month, writing and photoshooting for days, and then a halt! I felt supremely lost and yet still fucking found a way to do my photoshoots until like this summer. That’s kind of when I stepped back to realize that I’ve posted 3 blog posts this year. What does this mean? The entity of suppression. It’s like, some sort of mix between writer’s block and low-self image of my writing intention, in my head? Does that make any sense? Like I do these photoshoots that I think are rad and fun, but I have this sort of suppressive depressive stupid way of not wanting to let the words flow naturally. So as torturous as this year has been for this blog, at least I’m learning to appreciate myself and my photoshoots alll over again. However, taking extra time on this blog post also kinda forced me to think about the SOURCE of the INSPIRATION, not just musically but like, Bea Miller is more than a 20-year-old “That BITCH” kinda lady who rocks out in Seattle twice a year, has pink hair and only wants to feel something, but she’s also a formerly brunette teenage rockstar who released a non-apologetic album at age 15, has grown up into a world of technology and creativity and chooses to associate herself with rad people who ‘chill her vibe’ and accentuate her colors (PINK) and I’ve learned so much about this woman through listening and appreciating. Or, like, cheering. In a crowd. Either way, what started out as me loving her second album Aurora turned into something all the way Outside with Flights of Fancy. What does that even mean anyway?! Outside was like the first song from Bea that inspired me to do a photoshoot, I literally had the song on loop x4 or something outside smoking cigarettes and bending over backwards making funny faces because I was outside, being sassy, bragging about kitchen-table-coffee and also still admiring my fave song from that album. Explains why I got the hand-written lyric sheet for it. (; Okay more about Bea Merch eventually–basically I liked jamming to that song & doing the photoshoot so much that I decided to buy a yellow jumper and even calculated the reprecussions, somehow finding ways to make 3 different chapters speak colorful volumes. I love that words and colors and outfits like to go hand in hand, and even though Aurora is technically older news after a handful of singles this year, I still really love that I did this! At first I was really trying to hone in the album and songs and shit as inspiration but the more fun it got with all those Seattle shoots the more I just really appreciated that Bea is like, a lot like me, in the sense that this entire year of writer’s block all I’ve wanted to do was FEEL something. So many different states of mind and yet I still had to, like, choose between photoshoots or actually writing and completing my posts, so basically all year I’ve been minimalistic with expression, trying to find ways to even ‘create’ per say. BUT, I can finally master the rules I previously bent and find a way to create new chapters out of 2018 outfits that were originally inspired by this bitch! Hey, I’ve had worse years of creative flow. You just wouldn’t BEA-lieve how this girl has pushed forward the stream’s current!
Here’s a sort of recap. So I can’t tell if that’s impressive or oppressive at this point but it’s all the same, rehab in California went fantastic, stayed a month and a half and am now trying to find a way to be less bored and more motivated! But basically May 2018 I started a rough draft of this whole project and after a hectic life of faux crime, writer’s block, stressful evictions and walking in circles, I’m finally back to say something here. Finally. Back bitches. And it’s this Bea Miller post! That I finally get to come back with! My returning debut! Finally or something! I worked pretty dang hard with these shoots. Journey begins probably when apathy is gone, I’m gettin’ there, slowly and surely? Actually pretty freakin’ proud. Want to check it out?
Welcome again to another Miss Understood! Missy was a post I did from this one Idaho shoot and so I was going to file this one back too because it’s old but also featured Matt. So he was wondering after I posted the last one when I was going to get to these ones. I finally am actually, totally just with this shoot I did a little earlier that year. To do it justice it’s finally just one solo shoot, so Miss Understood is a good one finally! I’m finally getting these down. The dress/skirt shirt outfit is from Dolls Kill along with the earrings. I’m definitely going to do another shoot of this same outfit some other time so hopefully people get to seeing this enough for input.Continue reading
Hey everyone. It’s insane that I haven’t posted since the end of July. At that point is when I first hung out with Matt the night after getting home from my Idaho trip, and that was pretty insane. Because I basically walked into his place and then bam, from then on out we were always together and consuming eachother. We got kicked out of his apartment and we woke up one day at my dads to find out we couldn’t go back there, so surprise! We had nowhere to live except with my dad. We would sit in my room, doing nothing doing everything, feeding eachother to keep us alive and also tearing each other down in every whirlwind of dialogue. Does this sound like it’s getting personal? It’s so factually real and has been my life every month since August until January, and then half of February. I’m not saying it’s over or that we’re still together. I’m saying I’m sitting in my room alone getting everything done that’s months overdue, and I’m starting to breathe. We can love people so hard but if it’s toxic with no breathing room, it will blow up. It always does. I need space to be me, and yet despite this intro paragraph depicting my graphic hiatus, this blog post will be about me, the genie in the bottle, inspired and aspiring to be me, from the last blogshoot that I never posted to the newest one I just took. Genie in a Bottle & Genie 2.0, inspired from yet again the genie concept.Continue reading
It’s been one month so I’ve finally picked an official breakup song for this round. It’s Awake by Alison Wonderland! I also got a sickass 5-piece pre-order bundle recently from Alison Wonderland for the ‘Awake’ titled album, so I incorporated that into a photoshoot I did with one of my best peeps of this era. She’s dope, let’s get into this post.
“I get it, I messed up, you pushed it, I fell off
You’ll always be better in your own eyes
Goodbye my friend
It’s been too long
I know you’ve been away
Too much was said
Too much was done
And now I’m wide awake.”
Welcome to the greatest show, the greatest show you’ve ever seen before — this post is the new era. THE new era. The red hair, balayage like Christina 2001. Labret piercing like Xtina 2002. Goodass friends. Cute little models for me this time. Feminism. Loneliness? What comes with a new era… what comes with a new revolution. The way we revolt and the weapons we use. The way we aim and the game we play when we’re ready to slay. We’re girls, take a deep breath and say it loud. CAN’T HOLD US DOWN. ~ conceptually inspired by the 2002 song by Christina Aguilera.
“So. What am I not supposed to, have an opinion? Should I be quiet to speak ’cause I’m a woman? Call me a BITCH ’cause I speak what’s on my mind, when it’s easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled. (((::”…. to be continued press de buttonn.
HAPPY 18th ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR BIRTH, MY LOVE!
As you were blooming in Audra’s beautiful belly you were welcomed into the world as Ivy Katherine Green, which also became the most perfect name for your music to release for the moment or two. It’s cool to have your identity separated like that, but not in a way where you’re different people. You’re also Ally Smith, who looks like your mother Adriana too (even though you don’t have her same genetics) you grew up with all these traits that you’ve been finding and seeking and learning and growing about for 18 freaking years and you’re really becoming this beautiful human – no longer able at all to be considered an ’empty shell’, but when I listen to you patiently with no expectations I hear the ocean so cogently, as if that’s really what you are. You’re full of so much fucking magic but it’s not quite ocean magic – you definitely have gotten a lot of magic from the ocean and based a lot of your life and songs off of the ocean. It’s your favorite place, angel. But when I look at you you’re not even a shell. Not full nor empty, not really anything to do with a shell, but yet you encased yourself in a shell like a turtle, truly. That’s what was really happening.
You lifted the shell and you let me inside, and I walked in to find the place wayyyyy bigger and more complicated and beautiful than you make it look on the outside. And you said Abby, go ahead and learn about me, go ahead and learn and see. So the journey began, one of the millions of times that the journey began…and here we are, almost 3 years later, finding different things in our shells and breathing different words in our embraces. I love you, Alexandra Marie Devon Smith. Happy 18th rotation around the sun. Happy legality of buying your own cigarettes. Let’s rule this world hand in hand, babygirl.
Good morning all. Things have been kinda crazy for me lately. Lots of emotion and confusion, but at least I have people in my life who are caring of me. It makes me feel hugged and loved. No matter what I go through I have my fam and sometimes some other surprising characters in the mix and I don’t think anyone truly understands how we bring each other up. Anyway, I thought it was finally about time to post about Madii & I’s photoshoot, which involved chilling in her room. Seems like a weirdass name but I promise you it makes sense…to me. Lol, continue reading.