A month ago, I was sooo on a roll with blog posts. November was awesome for me and my blog and I was not only posting frequently, but thoroughly, and quality-ily. Quailityishful. So anyway then December everything started getting busy and crazy, however I FINALLY got around to editing these two shoots that I did (there was like a trillion pics to edit) and so now I can totally actually begin this journey that is Culture Shock, which is a half-formed idea in my head that’s about to florish. It’s derived of two equal parts, My Prerogative and Can’t Pin Me Down. Let’s see how I grow, live, create, slay and laugh at myself. After finishing this I’m actually extremely proud, and expression is best served passionately.
I feel like each of these Diary things is really different. Don’t be fooled by their names though, even though they’re all “Diary of ___” something different, they’re all basically the same thing. Journal entries in the form of blogging, pictures, online shopping and interacting with people online. Today I wanted to not only have a “diary” entry for the “DarkkVixen” that I am (that’s basically an inside (joke) thing I’ll explain it further down) but I wanted to show an unseen photoshoot with you guys that I’m actually really proud of, and it symbolizes a lot. Originally I used it on my other blog (just like one of the pictures) and I thought that represented a lot so I didn’t think to post the look here, especially because there’s no “shopping” really involved in it, but I do want to show you guys. I have so many looks, so many ideas, so much drive and everyday I get more bloated with inspiration and have to chase these blog goals to relieve it. Lol, for real. So get to know the DarkkVixen inside of me.
Album of the Shoot/Post – Bionic by Christina Aguilera
Scorpio Season truly is supposed to be the time where I’m at my peak. FIRST – this sounds sad at first, but I promise you I’m following it up with some SERIOUS positivity. Anyway, I’m supposed to feel my strongest, do the most elite things, and challenge myself to degrees that make growing a regular & constant thing. But here I am right now sitting in Starbucks and I’m miserable — can you believe that, miserable?? Like, with all that I have and have been given and I’m capable of being miserable? I don’t even understand how. So here I am in my head listening to the faint sounds of Starbucks and I gotta tell you guys, it’s my fault. FAULT is a strong word, and no I am not being hard on myself. I’m being tender with myself and trying to understand where I’m coming from and how I can back to a peaceful mindset. Although, it’s okay that I was miserable, and it’s okay that I took a deep breath and finally got to Starbucks and ordered a tall latte and oatmeal…It’s the best I could do to take care of myself (we have like no money right now) but I gotta say I just really really truly want to cry, with all of my heart. Something that started out as such a fantastic day ended in me not being able to do anything not even being able to watch Netflix or Hulu and I gotta say, days like this are going to happen. A lot of times I’ll have great starts but a lot of times I’ll fall on my ass or face. That’s going to happen and just because I can’t predict it doesn’t mean I can’t be prepared for it, like honestly. This blog post starts out with mostly just me complaining but I’m telling you right now that I understand what’s happening within myself & around me and I see that a lot of my flaws have these holes in them where I could’ve prevented the fall, but that also doesn’t mean I need to point fingers at myself. Because I don’t. Taking responsibility for myself, my actions, my hunger and my state of mind is one thing but that doesn’t mean I need to be hard on myself or add anymore unnecessary negativity to my life. Because that’s bull!
And as I write this, I feel myself uplifting. There’s a lot of power in understanding things and there’s a LOT of power in understanding myself. I’ve found that out in so many ways. So now I want to show you guys some shoots from the past month, some interesting peaks of Scorpio Season. I know that a lot of this just sounds like something that would be on my Worry Just Enough blog but honestly, I’m just as powerful with my fashion and shopping as I am with being in my head and worrying about things. Honestly, probably more so. But I want to show you a power shoot that was totally experimental (never really done anything like it) plus a completely random Halloween shoot where I was honestly just as comforable/in my element. “What were you for Halloween?” …. “Idk but it looked cool.” And now, after a longass intro, I will dive in. I dive down and things look up.
1, 2, 3, 4… I’ve got too many people got left to prove wrong. – (track 1, Bastards)
This has been building up since this album’s release day. Like I literally have stuff piled in my computer’s lil memory bank dating mid-September just for this post. This is a blog post about Rainbow and how it completely changed and saved my life, and how I live my life everyday with the lessons and empowerment I’ve taken from this woman. I think I’m going to divide it up by Rainbow-album-song-increments, but also just showing you guys the Rainbow pre-order bundle I got along with other Rainbow merch and concert Rainbow merch too. So yeah lots of Rainbow shit. I’m both incredibly proud and also fully prepared to walk you through my world of Rainbow that I’ve created from the one and only, my favorite album of the year, and of all time. The most moving, the most inspirational, the most empowering, and the strongest fucking woman I know of.