Hey guys it’s a new year! Remember when I did all those shoots in 2019 and didn’t post them until 2020? Or remember the handful of shoots I did in 2020 that I slowly released with them? Yeah it was a good year for catching up. Today I have one of the last photoshoots to post from last year, and I’m thinking of doing it old style. I might crop the pictures or use them full size. So this was from November and I’m now getting it up this January, it was with some rad pants and this Emotional Support Animal graphic tee from Rainsford which I got at an Aly&AJ concert in 2017. Met the girl, it was super cool. Now me with emotional support with myself includes a lot of breathers and some guilt-ridden “get-rid of” things and feelings. Things I could pass on, like excessive vaping, and this random sobriety block that I have with only weed. It’s weird but it’s my life. The lighting for this shoot was interesting. Tried to get it something right but it’s a left. Oh well, finally got my front page of blog posts in the right order.
In 2019 I did so much for myself and my photography, I really did. With the slowing down in 2018 up until the half (and the backdated) like It’s Not U (being one of the only posts I posted in 2019) and all the hair changes, well I’ve finally zeroed down at this point with my hair growing out and toning down… So now I’m here with my half-balayage and my room at my moms again just to be back here posting. I’ve got thousands of pictures of me at my moms, all so different, and fixing my set-up comes soon even. The biggest 2020 addition to my room was the magazine rack, and I’m back with my CD Collection as well, which was always here. So let me tell you a bit about my photography and my merchandise and how it intertwines with my style and my inspiration. One of my only regrets was doing a shoot like Liberation with Matt’s dirty mirror and then not having anything to write about with it, it being the last thing I did in 2018 for my blog. So whatever lack of connection there can’t change my ambition, I’ve seriously found a new ambition. It’s almost hard to explain but one day I just sat in my chair with my hair up, knowing that none of my extensions will fit me for a while, and got pictures of my Playboy shirt from Missguided. I don’t think I ever got pictures of that lot of clothes, something I would’ve done a couple years ago. Like a NastyGal box of clothes that I filed in my book with the order receipt, each thing on the list marked off into pictures, and I kept track. Seriously I used to not miss a thing with my blog. But inspired by Billie I recently cut the nightmare white graphic tees into a crop top and came back home to take a million pictures, not minding that I was cutting out my face. This is where I cross paths to things like CelebrityMerchBase to keep track of all those cool merch shirts I’ve gotten. I even missed that Billie concert but still got the shirts even. This post is about those two things. No wonder about Playboy Style or Billie’s. I named this Scary World! as a good one so thanks all for another Shop For Days post!
One of my favorite things ever is when I get this wind of inspiration to do a shoot in whatever I’m wearing, I’ve been connecting photoshoots to other days like a playlist! So in August 2019 I got my hair done at Gene Juarez after I dyed it (with Lime Crime’s Valentine) and did this photoshoot outside with Matt and even in the rain I got some interesting pictures. I always thought this was a really interesting shoot. I’ll start with that off the plate. I haven’t cried in months though so here’s another small shoot with a last year. Hahaha.
It’s been hard to get back to writing honestly. I’ve lacked inspiration with every sense of the word. But this post is long overdue. I was supposed to post it a month ago. This goes in conjunction with the AWAKE post, where I did show some pictures of this ‘Altar’ I had going on. This was never the finality of the Altar, this was just how it was for the moment while I was waiting to change it. But it was like this for the majority of the last month and a half, or maybe two months. So I want to show you this altar again, tell you why I included a signed lithograph of Alison Wonderland, and tell you why my altar is my safe place – and why being in Idaho is like being ripped away from the safe place I spent 7 months creating for the safety of my heart, mind, body, soul, future and past. But now mercury is in retrograde so I don’t know how the hell to do this. But here’s the altar, before the altar-ations. The album of the post is of course AWAKE by Alison Wonderland, and what I’ve got running through my head right now is…“Can we be okay?”.
It’s been one month so I’ve finally picked an official breakup song for this round. It’s Awake by Alison Wonderland! I also got a sickass 5-piece pre-order bundle recently from Alison Wonderland for the ‘Awake’ titled album, so I incorporated that into a photoshoot I did with one of my best peeps of this era. She’s dope, let’s get into this post.
“I get it, I messed up, you pushed it, I fell off You’ll always be better in your own eyes
Goodbye my friend
It’s been too long
I know you’ve been away Too much was said Too much was done And now I’m wide awake.”
AWAKE pre-order shirt, socks & air freshener (in my bun!)
Signed 12×12 artwork from the AWAKE bundle + bedside altar
Allow me to introduce myself. Want you to come a little closer. I’d like you to get to know me better. Meet the real me.” – Stripped pt. 1 (track 1)
I’m in love with Christina Aguilera‘s second album Stripped right now, because each song has played such a big role in the last month that I’ve been dwelling on it, and applying it gently to my situations and creating new perspectives here and there. I’m a lot more aware in so many ways. When I did this shoot I named it Keep On Singin’ My Song because that was the most relatable at that moment, and the way I related to it was on the tail-end of getting over some stupid crap in my life. After March 18th, one of the most beautiful and sentimental and fun and adventurous nights of my life, I finally got my closure, but earlier this month, the only thing that kept me going was to keep on singing these songs. I’m breaking into the music shizz slowly and miss Ivy K. Green is going to help me as we write together (You Don’t Know) and I’m totally gonna have her help me cover some songs for her. I got closure, but now I’m going to keep on singing my songs because I’m so twitter-patted and infatuated with this passionate & pure poison ivy/love of my life and makes taking risks look like just…living. As it should always look of course. Read more.
A month ago, I was sooo on a roll with blog posts. November was awesome for me and my blog and I was not only posting frequently, but thoroughly, and quality-ily. Quailityishful. So anyway then December everything started getting busy and crazy, however I FINALLY got around to editing these two shoots that I did (there was like a trillion pics to edit) and so now I can totally actually begin this journey that is Culture Shock, which is a half-formed idea in my head that’s about to florish. It’s derived of two equal parts, My Prerogative and Can’t Pin Me Down. Let’s see how I grow, live, create, slay and laugh at myself. After finishing this I’m actually extremely proud, and expression is best served passionately.
