Hey guys it’s me on Emotional Support! Remember when I did all those shoots in 2019 and didn’t post them until 2020? Or however I ended up dating & posting them? Or remember the handful of shoots I did in 2020 that I slowly released with them, like using multiple shoots per blog post? Yeah it was a good year for catching up. Today I have one of the last photoshoots to post from this year 2020, and I’m thinking of doing it old style. I might crop the pictures or use them full size. So this was from November and I’m just now getting this up here, it was with some rad pants and this Emotional Support Animal graphic tee from Rainsford which I got at an Aly&AJ concert in mid 2018. Met the girl at her merch table after her set, and it was super cool. So I got this shirt & a lighter from Rainsford that day. This is about the shirt, which I’ve cropped into a crop top by now. Emotional Support Animal is the name of Rainsford’s EP, so check that out if you want to. Such a cool shirt, it says the same thing. Now me with emotional support with myself includes a lot of breathers and some guilt-ridden “get-rid of” things and feelings. Things I could pass on, like excessive vaping, and this random sobriety block that I have with only weed. It’s weird but it’s my life. The lighting for this shoot was interesting. Tried to get it something right but it’s a left. Oh well, finally got my front page of blog posts in the right order, I think. Eventually I’ll be re-editing some of those blog posts, maybe working on them a little bit more. Who knows, when I first did this blog post it was January and I was a little behind on photoshooting, but now I’m moving this post to December because not only was this photoshoot from November 2nd, 2020 but my hair was still long with the blonde at the ends. On December 31st, I got my hair cut to my shoulders, taking off all the left over blonde & leaving my hair my natural color, shoulder length. It was kind of cool, I got the haircut because my hair was falling out for a while. That happens to me sometimes, but oh well. This shoot belongs in 2020 like when I took it, so now it is. December, even. I’ve been working hard on my blog. Let’s get into this post, should be a good one.Continue reading
In 2019 I did so much for myself and my photography, I really did. With the slowing down in 2018 up until the half (and the backdated) like It’s Not U (being one of the only posts I posted in 2019) and all the hair changes, well I’ve finally zeroed down at this point with my hair growing out and toning down… So now I’m here with my half-balayage and my room at my moms again just to be back here posting. I’ve got thousands of pictures of me at my moms, all so different, and fixing my set-up comes soon even. The biggest 2020 addition to my room was the magazine rack, and I’m back with my CD Collection as well, which was always here. So let me tell you a bit about my photography and my merchandise and how it intertwines with my style and my inspiration. One of my only regrets was doing a shoot like Liberation with Matt’s dirty mirror and then not having anything to write about with it, it being the last thing I did in 2018 for my blog. So whatever lack of connection there can’t change my ambition, I’ve seriously found a new ambition. It’s almost hard to explain but one day I just sat in my chair with my hair up, knowing that none of my extensions will fit me for a while, and got pictures of my Playboy shirt from Missguided. I don’t think I ever got pictures of that lot of clothes, something I would’ve done a couple years ago. Like a NastyGal box of clothes that I filed in my book with the order receipt, each thing on the list marked off into pictures, and I kept track. Seriously I used to not miss a thing with my blog. But inspired by Billie I recently cut the nightmare white graphic tees into a crop top and came back home to take a million pictures, not minding that I was cutting out my face. This is where I cross paths to things like CelebrityMerchBase to keep track of all those cool merch shirts I’ve gotten. I even missed that Billie concert but still got the shirts even. This post is about those two things. No wonder about Playboy Style or Billie’s. I named this Scary World! as a good one so thanks all for another Shop For Days post!Continue reading
One of my favorite things ever is when I get this wind of inspiration to do a shoot in whatever I’m wearing at the time. Just a feeling of motivation, prepping me for those days where I’m just really doing well in terms of my flow. Some days don’t have that kind of wind, but I can always rework what I’m dealing with. For example, it’s been a while since I’ve posted this blog post & I just now came back rewrite it a little. I think I’ve got the hang of this by this point. Now granted, I know the first photo of this blog post is me with red hair again, like a lot of my older posts. And in a lot of posts both before & after this was either blonde or back to brown, so this post doesn’t really weave the best looking timeline, but I promise you to trust me. Like what days my hair was dyed verses fading to a rather blonde sometimes. That’s pretty great to me, actually. This photoshoot here was done in August 2019, and the other is from October 2020 – both with the same shredded shirt. But not to forget to mention, the side B photoshoot I did in my room this year to correspond with this photoshoot, had like 3 pictures of my outfit at my mom’s house so I finally live with her again. Exciting, actually! You’ll be seeing more of it as I go, but yeah, no more dad’s apartment. I definitely still lived with my dad when I first did No Tears Left pt.1, but we did the shoot in Bellevue (a wealthy city near Seattle). I got some really, very nice, good, pictures of my room this time around! So about that same shirt, No Tears Left To Cry, with a different tank top underneath (a grey one then a purple one) with my hair grown out from it’s dye and fading into the blonde balayage-growout. Basically I just really love these shoots, and my hair obviously has changed since summer of ’19, when I did plenty of good photoshoots from my red hair and to my blondes, too. So this dye job or a different one, of course, and my roots were tryin’ for it honestly, but I have a bunch different red haired photoshoots here if you’re wanting to check them out! I’ve had a few different kinds of hair colors and they all rocked differently. Such a timeline for my hair and the shoots I do with it and the many stages – like eras, of time or my life, plus the ‘processing of it all.Continue reading
It’s been hard to get back to writing honestly. I’ve lacked inspiration with every sense of the word. But this post is long overdue. I was supposed to post it a month ago. This goes in conjunction with the AWAKE post, where I did show some pictures of this ‘Altar’ I had going on. This was never the finality of the Altar, this was just how it was for the moment while I was waiting to change it. But it was like this for the majority of the last month and a half, or maybe two months. So I want to show you this altar again, tell you why I included a signed lithograph of Alison Wonderland, and tell you why my altar is my safe place – and why being in Idaho is like being ripped away from the safe place I spent 7 months creating for the safety of my heart, mind, body, soul, future and past. But now mercury is in retrograde so I don’t know how the hell to do this. But here’s the altar, before the altar-ations. The album of the post is of course AWAKE by Alison Wonderland, and what I’ve got running through my head right now is…“Can we be okay?”.
CAN WE BE OKAY??
It’s been one month so I’ve finally picked an official breakup song for this round. It’s Awake by Alison Wonderland! I also got a sickass 5-piece pre-order bundle recently from Alison Wonderland for the ‘Awake’ titled album, so I incorporated that into a photoshoot I did with one of my best peeps of this era. She’s dope, let’s get into this post.
“I get it, I messed up, you pushed it, I fell off
You’ll always be better in your own eyes
Goodbye my friend
It’s been too long
I know you’ve been away
Too much was said
Too much was done
And now I’m wide awake.”
“Waited a long time for this, feels right now
Allow me to introduce myself. Want you to come a little closer. I’d like you to get to know me better. Meet the real me.” – Stripped pt. 1 (track 1)
I’m in love with Christina Aguilera‘s second album Stripped right now, because each song has played such a big role in the last month that I’ve been dwelling on it, and applying it gently to my situations and creating new perspectives here and there. I’m a lot more aware in so many ways. When I did this shoot I named it Keep On Singin’ My Song because that was the most relatable at that moment, and the way I related to it was on the tail-end of getting over some stupid crap in my life. After March 18th, one of the most beautiful and sentimental and fun and adventurous nights of my life, I finally got my closure, but earlier this month, the only thing that kept me going was to keep on singing these songs. I’m breaking into the music shizz slowly and miss Ivy K. Green is going to help me as we write together (You Don’t Know) and I’m totally gonna have her help me cover some songs for her. I got closure, but now I’m going to keep on singing my songs because I’m so twitter-patted and infatuated with this passionate & pure poison ivy/love of my life and makes taking risks look like just…living. As it should always look of course. Read more.
A month ago, I was sooo on a roll with blog posts. November was awesome for me and my blog and I was not only posting frequently, but thoroughly, and quality-ily. Quailityishful. So anyway then December everything started getting busy and crazy, however I FINALLY got around to editing these two shoots that I did (there was like a trillion pics to edit) and so now I can totally actually begin this journey that is Culture Shock, which is a half-formed idea in my head that’s about to florish. It’s derived of two equal parts, My Prerogative and Can’t Pin Me Down. Let’s see how I grow, live, create, slay and laugh at myself. After finishing this I’m actually extremely proud, and expression is best served passionately.