Euphoria

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I really have always loved music with all my heart, and I love getting to apply that to my life and express that love. Since like 2007 I’ve been going to concerts and all that, and I used to do a lot of YouTube-ing, talking a lot with people about different artists and celebrities, editing pictures and videos of them. That’s something that I always loved doing growing up, and then I was like in my early adult years (and a couple years before that) going to concerts all the time and collecting merchandise and CDs. I really have a lot to show for my love of music, and I love getting to blog about my concert experiences. This post is about my Louis the Child concert experience, which was like my #64th that I’ve been to. So this has been a big part of my life, concertgoing, and even though I went like a year without attending a show recently I’ve finally been catching up and seeing some this year again. I was front row at this show with my boyfriend Matt, we got there right as the doors opened! The venue filled up a lot after we were stationed in the front, and it was a really cool crowd. Matt first introduced me to Louis the Child in like 2018 actually, with Save Me From Myself. Their new album is really good too, they played my favorite track off of it, Fade Away. So I did what I used to do all the time for concerts and did a photoshoot of my #ConcertAttire, and also an outfit/shoot for the merch shirt that I got from the show. This turned out pretty good, I liked it. We even got a few shots in Seattle but not too much because this was a long show! I’m glad about where I’m at, like I probably mentioned a few times in my last blog post, but these concerts this year really helped to both relax me and hype me about my life and I really see what going to all these does for me. I love expression and energy and all that and I get to express a lot of that with going to shows all the time. Read more to see the photoshoots!

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Death Row

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My life has always been some combination of change and consistencies, the things that kept me balanced or taught me some skill to stay on track. Recently a lot of things have piled up, but at first I really thought it would be something I couldn’t handle or shouldn’t have to deal with. I’m stuck doing these meetings all the time, two different kinds, and I wasn’t expecting to be busy 5 days of the week every day for a while but that’s what it looks like. Something my dad was talking to me about recently was how life throws so many things at you that are unexpected but obviously this teaches you resilience and him and I both agree that we’re good at those kinds of throws from life, just knowing the ground we stand on and how stable we are through the most of it. We also talked a lot about regret this past month and it really said something to me, the way these things would pile on top of me. I’d like, go through all of it and wonder how to sit there and look back at it without it pulling my hair, really. Those two things are something I’m talking about here, but I’ve really relieved a lot of pressure in my life and in my mind by having these conversations with him. Now I love going to these meetings, with every piece of my heart, and I’m back to wearing my heels all the time and putting on my lipsticks. My outfits rock these days and this is my 4th week in a row that I’ve had something to do and somewhere to go every single day of the week. I really absolutely love where I’m at, where I’ve finally gotten into in life, and I’m just having so much fun and actually getting things out of these meetings! I love that I get out and do these things, and even if I haven’t blogged as much recently I still post every fucking month, so I’m not slacking too hard even though I’m way busier now. I feel like I really can create this direction in my life with these toolkits I have gotten from all these meetings, and I have this persistence now that I want to keep up with as I go. I’ve made a bunch of good decisions in the midst of the stupid mistakes that I’ve been throwing in there to tag the regret, but I really see what I chose in life and what good it brings me to be here at this point in time. I believe I’m the person I am because I could be, and because I want to be, every single day of my life and that helps a lot when I’m building myself. I spend a lot of time working on myself these days and I really have everything I need finally, and I’m really proud of this photoshoot! I called it Death Row after the Bebe Rexha song, because I have finally hit a point in my life this week where I really understood and just got it, what I’m doing here. Something clicked in my brain shortly after doing this shoot and I am definitely excited about my future. I see what making changes in your life does, and I feel this positive energy that I keep loving and wanting to express, so I will creatively finally. I really see why I got to this point in my life.

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Icon Chaos

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Something I love about merchandise is how long I will have this collection, and how much it serves me to utilize it. I have a ton of merch shirts from over the years, one of my first ones being from 2007. I even have like 3 Tove Lo shirts and this yellow one is one of them. They’re all cut into crop tops and I wear them now and again, and they’re perfect. This first Tove Lo shirt I got for Christmas of 2019 from my mom with these same leggings as well. This shirt was called Icon Chaos and I love it, with all the graphics on the back of it. This is a good shoot for this! Can’t believe it’s taken me a year and a half to do the photoshoot for this outfit finally. And last month I got my hair dyed red again! First shoot for the red hair comeback, this is perfect. I think my red hair goes with pretty much all of my outfits, so we’ll see where I go from here to see how it continues to suit me. Eventually I’ll even get my extensions back in there and that’ll be perfect. Of course I cut my hair on New Year’s Eve, that was perfect for the new year and all the shoots I’ve done since. But now it’s red and it’s been half a year so it’s growing back out, it’ll be long again eventually! That’s the only thing I hate about cutting my hair, waiting for it to be full length again. But that’s what I did and I love the decision, my hair is growing back fast now. I can’t wait for it to thicken out more too, but all in due time with baby hairs. I’m doing pretty good this summer I think! Was taking a little bit of a break from blogging but now I’m back and we’ll see how things go. Excited about what’s coming up, I’m back with my boyfriend Matt, so eventually I’ll be doing some more photoshoots with him again too. Check this category here to see what we’ve done and posted together over the past couple of years! Getting back to everything now.

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Playground

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I’m excited about this blog post and photoshoot, I had a lot of fun with my mom and Maren for it. Maren, my cousin, came over here to visit us last month to help us pack up our living room and kitchen, preparing for our remodel that’s finally happening. It was interesting, moving things and packing them up, and Maren worked pretty hard to help us, we we’re grateful to have her over. The two of us used to do these dance-off or music video types of videos way back in the day when we were a whole lot younger, like 2011 and before. One of the examples is on YouTube like this one, but we did a couple videos before that which I’ll eventually find (on my old laptop), and then I’ll post those on YouTube too. Anyway, so of course we had to do a photoshoot 10 years later when she comes to visit us here in Seattle again, so we went to a playground and got some good pictures. The lighting kept fluctuating so we have a few different kinds of lighting for this, but I love how the shoot turned out anyway. We all kind of took turns taking the pictures, standing on all the different playground things to play on. This was a good collaboration, I love what we did with it and how it turned out. The shoot was actually last month but I’m finally getting it up now, probably the last post I’ll do before I get my hair dyed again, so this is a good one. I’m catching up with all my shoots now too, once I get this up it’ll be a fresh slate for me to start shooting again, but I was taking a break from it for a while other than this one actually. We’ll see what comes next for the blog, but doing things like this one is always cool for me anyway, something unique that I can use to change up my perspectives. I don’t think I get too typical or repetitive with my shoots or posts, I think I’m always doing something new or good that I can use to frame myself better, but collaborations are always a unique icing for the cake that changes things up even more. They make it better for me to try with, something that speaks up differently and will never sound the same. I’m glad I’m finally all caught up with shoots this year, I’ve been behind for quite a while but I know exactly what to do next! Great news about this shoot with Maren, now let’s get into it finally.

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Playboy Style

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To start off this blog post I’m just going to say I’ve been wanting a sweatsuit like this for years. Interestingly enough, in 2019 I bought a pair of green Playboy sweatpants from MissGuided and I didn’t get any hoodie to match, but I did get a Playboy shirt also and it was white, which I put in this blog post here. Other than a couple other things, that’s what I got from MissGuided back then. But then came this year, in 2021, when I finally got the opportunity to order from them again, and I got a full-on pink Playboy sweatsuit finally! A matching crop top to the sweatpants, of course. I love it with all my heart, I wear it at all the right times. Then comes Playboy Style, where I get to show off the set as well as my new Gucci glasses that I also adore. I’m excited about this, I know it’s not the most unique photoshoot but it is one that I did and I’m proud of, and am ready to display. I haven’t worn the green sweatpants in over a year or so because they’re probably left in a buried box in storage, but eventually I’ll get those out and I’ll have those in addition to my other lounge clothes (like a collection), but for now I just have this set to wear. Glad I got that order, got a few things that time and I’ve shot some of it but the rest I’ll do later, I’m excited for June’s blog posts already and I know I’ve got things that are good so I’ll get those in line and in order soon, so we’ll see how that turns out. For now I’m almost done catching up with my photoshoots, got them all posted and I’m waiting to do more until the rest from the last couple of months are done and up on the blog. I know exactly what shoots I’m going to do next, but for now let me get to this good one! I love my Playboy style and always will, I hope to get even more someday to post about. Now here we go!

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MTV Pt. 1

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Today is a good day for another blog post, I love how consistent I’ve been with it. Two or so posts a month works well. I haven’t been doing too much these days, but my outfits are getting better. I’ve been fixing more jewelry with my stepmom, so I have more to wear these days. The jewelry for this outfit is interesting, it’s just one pretty heart and then a tiny choker-like chain that I got from Goodwill. This shirt I got from Toney and cut it in half. He gave me like 5 shirts in our time together so that was pretty rad, I’ve blogged about most of them. This one was for my birthday, as well as the Angel Like Me shirt that I did this year. This is the second shirt, and then the third one I still have to do. (In terms of the birthday ones he gave me.) Pretty rad, actually, I’m glad I got those. This is obviously an MTV shirt, plus I have another one I’m going to do this year. That one was actually a gift too. Anyway, I’m excited for this shoot, it was a good outfit with my classic dollar sign ($) chain. I’ve used that in a bunch of different shoots, search for chains. I’ve had multiple chains, too, so that’s pretty cool. I just have one right now though and it’s this one. Haha, I’m even wearing it today with some other outfit. I’ve got a good page going on the front of my blog, this year has been productive. I just have one more photoshoot to post and then I’m all caught up with writing, so that’s a good thing. We’ll see how the rest of the year goes, I mean it’s only May, not even halfway through the year yet, but almost. Okay let’s get into it! Oh how I love styling different graphic tees. I’ll get back to shooting merchandise in the summertime probably.

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Care Label

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It’s a good afternoon here for me, I’ve been really liking my consistent nature with blogging these days. I blog 2-3 times a month these days, and I’m doing pretty well with it here at home. On my days off I don’t do much, just watch cartoons or listen to music. I finally finished Breaking Bad again, as well as Better Call Saul, and that was a good era of watching those. I don’t normally watch shows like that but I love them when I do, so much. Dang, this month has been kind of hard for me, and I’m trying to get back to good habits these days. I stopped smoking cigarettes for a while but now I’m back at them. I go through them so quickly, too. But I’ll get out of this, and find something that serves me. For example, Matt & I did this photoshoot together at the park down the road from my house, and it turned out okay but we had some lighting problems. It was raining outside, so that was interesting. I lost my camera’s microfiber cloth but it was okay since Matt had one in his car. I swear, even though Matt & I are taking a break from hanging out for a bit, we have a cool kind of chemistry with doing photoshoots together. I created a category for my photoshoots called by Matt, so you can check that out and see all of what we’ve done together so far. I have done so much for this blog just by myself, so it’s refreshing to do something with someone else. Care Label is good, I was wearing a key around my neck and a key around my waist, both being the same key actually. It originally goes to a lockbox, but I don’t even have one that works anymore. I have one pink lockbox with a broken lock, and that’s about it. I’ve mentioned a bunch of different silver keys in my blog posts over the past 6 months (or year) and they’re pretty significant to me, they hold a lot of metaphorical meaning. I mean, the lock on my bedroom door doesn’t even work yet I have a key for that. It’s on a necklace right now, I’ll post it sometime. I have like 10 different keys in terms of jewelry. Oh but how I love this top from MissGuided, I did an order for there earlier this spring. I just love this crop top, it has a care label on it, saying how to wash it & such. Let’s get into this photoshoot!

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Elephants

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Good afternoon all! It’s a beautiful day this spring and I’m coming at you with yet another blog post. This one was pretty cool, I call it Elephants because I have some rad elephant leggings that I love with all my heart. I got them from Goodwill actually, a good find. Some of the comfiest leggings I have ever worn, even. I just did this shoot in my room, by myself of course. I’m getting pretty good at consistently posting and shooting. I’ve also been doing pretty well, doing a lot for myself these days. I’m excited about this! The carnelian necklace is one of my favorite necklaces, I got it from a rock store in Idaho in 2018. I’m surprised I’ve never done a photoshoot with carnelian, I checked and couldn’t even find my carnelian bracelet on anything. Oh well, I have this big long list of all the clothes I have that I need to shoot, and I work on it pretty frequently. I have so many clothes I’ve never blogged about, it’s crazy. But I’m ramping up with getting them all into photoshoots. I should shoot merch more, again, but I’ve got too many normal clothes I’m working with first. So we’ll see how that plays out, I’ve got a head full of ideas these days. The boots I’m wearing, these heeled grey boots, are from Shoedazzle. I bought them while I was in rehab, had them shipped to the place (in California). I got three pairs of shoes that time, and you’ll see them all soon in future photoshoots. That was in September 2019, for those shoes (& rehab). I’ll eventually get pictures with all of them, but for now I’m just starting out with the grey boots. Stay tuned for more soon. Let’s get into this!

Nice picture of my room here.
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Genie Atrapado

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In 2018 & 2019 I was taking some breaks from blogging. But in the midst of it I did Genie in a Bottle & Genie 2.0. Now I’m back with another Genie inspired post but it’s not capitalized like those are. I’ve also had this outfit since the spring of 2019 or so (2 years ago!) and just now finally have it shot. I’ve got a lot going on for photoshoots & posts for the year 2021 so I’m catching up. I finally did this photoshoot with this genie shirt, Rub Me The Right Way. It’s from Dolls Kill of course. I still have one more shirt from this order left to do, so that’ll be later this year. I’m ramping up with photoshoots so I should be posting a lot more these days to get these shoots up. It was fun doing this with Matt, he manned my camera this time. I love that this is my third genie shoot. I even included this genie’s bottle purse for this, plus I’m wearing the same choker the model was wearing for this shirt. That’s a cool bonus. I’m really proud of this outfit. And to piggy-back on to my last blog post, yes I still have crazy dreams, and yes this is my get-out-all-the-time blog post. Matt and I have been hanging out really doing some stuff these days, so he’s top on my list of people. Maybe I seem like I critique too much (mostly with myself, actually) but people like him remind me of where I’m at in life. I’ll definitely zero in on that a little more later in this post, because I have a bunch to say about how things are for me now. I’ve been working out a lot too so of course my dad and I are building ourselves better by the day. I really love how things are going for me these days. I’ve been granting my wishes.

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Hit the Headlines

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When I first started blogging I was 16. I had this camera that took really good pictures so I just started dressing up for my own camera. I then tried different lightings and stuff only to find out the settings on my camera were way better than adding some light to the pictures. This was a cool discovery because my pictures started getting better the next year. I was blogging a lot in 2016-17. I’m pretty sure I’m a blogger-meant-to-be. I grew up being a blogger. I used to have the best poster-covered walls in the world. So many pictures taken in my mom’s house in my room. I grew up here. And now in the same room I dream a lot. I have the weirdest dreams actually. Last nights were super interesting. I keep having these dreams where I’m somewhere like glass houses or something. My dreams will be forever changing and accumulating as I live and blog. I’m sometimes trapped in my dreams but I totally know why. This dream last night I was in a car driving to some place to stay for a while (similar to rehab) but I was first finding a place to get food, like I was looking for pancakes. My dad was in the dream and he was searching for me but we couldn’t find each other, I was just extremely lost. I see why it was pancakes but my dad and I have a history of crepes so I guess just breakfast food. We were in this weird dystopian society and I wasn’t sure I’d get to the other side or find him. It was a weird kind of lost. I’ll explain more about that later on in this post, lol.

I need to get out more I think. I’ll tell you all more about that in my next blog post I have to do which is another shoot I did with my ex-boyfriend. That’s the I-get-out-all-the-time blog post. Him and I are back to photoshooting together so that’s hot. This shoot I did alone in my room with my latest Dolls Kill order. In fact this shirt might still be available. Just search for Current Mood on the site, if this blog post just dropped. The shirt was called Hit the Headlines. I have so much left to shoot from there. It’ll be Dolls Kill for days coming up, even old orders that I’ve had forever that I’m finally getting around to.

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