July 2018 was crazy but kinda cool. I was a living angel experiencing the life of hard drugs and losing myself, only finding solace in the fact that I was progressing and not just accepting the demise. Still though, my family was going to Idaho later in the month and I had decided the week before that I was going to try to go. That meant needing to get sober in time for it. So I stopped the heroin and the meth, struggled with my own instability and decided to go forward – hard, to get ready enough to survive the trip, and the best part is, even though it was the hardest week of my life (and I never felt more misunderstood and like I was losing myself) the instant that I got home, there was like one hour of getting ready and then I went to go hangout with Matt for the first time by ourselves. I stayed the night with him that night instead of staying at my house and then boom we were together for like, ever. Lol. So that’s how all that started. I’m behind on a lot of old photo shoots but thought I’d do this concept post because I wanted to go deeper on how Matt pretty much saved me from myself and how all that started to begin with. So this is the Missy Understood photoshoot that I did in Idaho, plus the pictures from the family reunion + a short story on how Matt & I fell together. Cue dramatic music. Lol. Also included: of course I picked a song that I did for the Idaho photoshoot but I also have created a conceptual-based playlist called Miss Understood, Hitlist that I’m transferring onto YouTube. And there’s about 5 people that mean the world to me right now as I’m diving into sobriety once again. And this time I’m excited. My vision board journal, my new love of music videos and music DVDs, the rearranging of my room, and the exploration of my new & improved art formations…It’s going to be a good year.
I feel like the proper way to look at it is simply that Missy Understood is like, the personified version of a concept I came up with last summer; back then my mom even made me a kandy bracelet that says “Miss Understood”. I just love that term, there’s so many ways to play with those words.
But I’m really proud of myself this month. I got a new TV, my old bed is back but at my dads, I’m sober off heroin & meth again of course, I’m reuniting with some important people, I’m remembering and regaining my self worth…I’m organizing my room more and more, blogging and writing more while constantly thinking of how to expand upon these thoughts…Man, you should see this playlist too! Oh but first, here’s a selfie I took in Idaho. Those Fluorite earrings though!
I had this thing for taking pictures and all those moving images and spending hours making trippy pic-vids.
The official song of the Missy Understood – July 2018 blog photoshoot in Idaho Falls: Samurai by Vanic, the amazing song I was listening to in Idaho like crazy.
And here’s the Miss Understood, Hitlist playlist, including Samurai as the song of the shoot; I Could Be Anything, the song of the post (it’s what I’ll wrap up with – it reminds me of how hopeful I am, and destroyed, but determined). And the rest on the playlist really speak well for this whole thing. Yes it’s 5am and I’m not making any sense but hey…I tried! (; I think my favorite song to describe the mood of the playlist and to really capture how misunderstood I am, it would be Nice Girl by Syence.
Of all these on the playlist, Understand by Christina Aguilera describes my love life the best. Haha.
That should be the playlist linked right there.
I can’t wait until my writing gets even more clear & concise… organized thoughts…pshhh.
Sigh. I could be anything.