It’s a good afternoon here for me, I’ve been really liking my consistent nature with blogging these days. I blog 2-3 times a month these days, and I’m doing pretty well with it here at home. On my days off I don’t do much, just watch cartoons or listen to music. I finally finished Breaking Bad again, as well as Better Call Saul, and that was a good era of watching those. I don’t normally watch shows like that but I love them when I do, so much. Dang, this month has been kind of hard for me, and I’m trying to get back to good habits these days. I stopped smoking cigarettes for a while but now I’m back at them. I go through them so quickly, too. But I’ll get out of this, and find something that serves me. For example, Matt & I did this photoshoot together at the park down the road from my house, and it turned out okay but we had some lighting problems. It was raining outside, so that was interesting. I lost my camera’s microfiber cloth but it was okay since Matt had one in his car. I swear, even though Matt & I are taking a break from hanging out for a bit, we have a cool kind of chemistry with doing photoshoots together. I created a category for my photoshoots called by Matt, so you can check that out and see all of what we’ve done together so far. I have done so much for this blog just by myself, so it’s refreshing to do something with someone else. Care Label is good, I was wearing a key around my neck and a key around my waist, both being the same key actually. It originally goes to a lockbox, but I don’t even have one that works anymore. I have one pink lockbox with a broken lock, and that’s about it. I’ve mentioned a bunch of different silver keys in my blog posts over the past 6 months (or year) and they’re pretty significant to me, they hold a lot of metaphorical meaning. I mean, the lock on my bedroom door doesn’t even work yet I have a key for that. It’s on a necklace right now, I’ll post it sometime. I have like 10 different keys in terms of jewelry. Oh but how I love this top from MissGuided, I did an order for there earlier this spring. I just love this crop top, it has a care label on it, saying how to wash it & such. Let’s get into this photoshoot!Continue reading
In 2018 & 2019 I was taking some breaks from blogging. But in the midst of it I did Genie in a Bottle & Genie 2.0. Now I’m back with another Genie inspired post but it’s not capitalized like those are. I’ve also had this outfit since the spring of 2019 or so (2 years ago!) and just now finally have it shot. I’ve got a lot going on for photoshoots & posts for the year 2021 so I’m catching up. I finally did this photoshoot with this genie shirt, Rub Me The Right Way. It’s from Dolls Kill of course. I still have one more shirt from this order left to do, so that’ll be later this year. I’m ramping up with photoshoots so I should be posting a lot more these days to get these shoots up. It was fun doing this with Matt, he manned my camera this time. I love that this is my third genie shoot. I even included this genie’s bottle purse for this, plus I’m wearing the same choker the model was wearing for this shirt. That’s a cool bonus. I’m really proud of this outfit. And to piggy-back on to my last blog post, yes I still have crazy dreams, and yes this is my get-out-all-the-time blog post. Matt and I have been hanging out really doing some stuff these days, so he’s top on my list of people. Maybe I seem like I critique too much (mostly with myself, actually) but people like him remind me of where I’m at in life. I’ll definitely zero in on that a little more later in this post, because I have a bunch to say about how things are for me now. I’ve been working out a lot too so of course my dad and I are building ourselves better by the day. I really love how things are going for me these days. I’ve been granting my wishes.Continue reading
When I first started blogging I was 16. I had this camera that took really good pictures so I just started dressing up for my own camera. I then tried different lightings and stuff only to find out the settings on my camera were way better than adding some light to the pictures. This was a cool discovery because my pictures started getting better the next year. I was blogging a lot in 2016-17. I’m pretty sure I’m a blogger-meant-to-be. I grew up being a blogger. I used to have the best poster-covered walls in the world. So many pictures taken in my mom’s house in my room. I grew up here. And now in the same room I dream a lot. I have the weirdest dreams actually. Last nights were super interesting. I keep having these dreams where I’m somewhere like glass houses or something. My dreams will be forever changing and accumulating as I live and blog. I’m sometimes trapped in my dreams but I totally know why. This dream last night I was in a car driving to some place to stay for a while (similar to rehab) but I was first finding a place to get food, like I was looking for pancakes. My dad was in the dream and he was searching for me but we couldn’t find each other, I was just extremely lost. I see why it was pancakes but my dad and I have a history of crepes so I guess just breakfast food. We were in this weird dystopian society and I wasn’t sure I’d get to the other side or find him. It was a weird kind of lost. I’ll explain more about that later on in this post, lol.
I need to get out more I think. I’ll tell you all more about that in my next blog post I have to do which is another shoot I did with my ex-boyfriend. That’s the I-get-out-all-the-time blog post. Him and I are back to photoshooting together so that’s hot. This shoot I did alone in my room with my latest Dolls Kill order. In fact this shirt might still be available. Just search for Current Mood on the site, if this blog post just dropped. The shirt was called Hit the Headlines. I have so much left to shoot from there. It’ll be Dolls Kill for days coming up, even old orders that I’ve had forever that I’m finally getting around to.Continue reading
While keeping to myself and not bothering too much with a social life, I have a lot of time to think. A lot of self-reflecting to do, finding things I would appreciate by myself. Blogging is one of those things that I just need for myself. And even though I bought this outfit in January 2020 (and am just now getting around to posting it) from Dolls Kill I think it’s still a pretty cool thing to be posting finally. I have a bunch of clothes from that order that I still need to shoot. I’ll get around to all of it eventually. I have multiple Dolls Kill orders in my life that I still need to shoot. Remember in 2017 when I was really on it with Nasty Gal and all my orders from there? That ended with my last yellow jumper from the store to red hair and a Dolls Kill outfit. I’ve pretty much fully switched which online shop I use, thank goodness I already shot the rest of those outfits from Nasty Gal. My closet is up to date with all those old orders. One day I’ll go back to that store but for now I need to catch up on shooting the rest of my Dolls Kill orders. And now that I’m caught up on photoshoots and a little behind on outfits I’ve got a good idea on what to do next. Posting OFFLINE is one of the very first steps with catching up. I’ve just got to keep going with the photoshoots, squeezing in as much as I can. So this post is kind of about all that. It’s a small shoot so there shouldn’t be too much of that confusing stuff I mentioned earlier – I’m pretty much done with mentioning my old posts in new posts. I’ll just refrain for that for now. So let’s get into it. It’s a two-piece matching set from Current Mood that I’m wearing in this post.Continue reading
Well I would say that it’s been a while. One year of photoshoots and I’ve completely altered my point of view of myself. I started off struggling to keep a rhythm with how I felt everyday, and yet I was so rhythmic with my blogging to the point of 4-5 posts a month, writing and photoshooting for days, and then a halt! I felt supremely lost and yet still fucking found a way to do my photoshoots until like this summer. That’s kind of when I stepped back to realize that I’ve posted 3 blog posts this year. What does this mean? The entity of suppression. It’s like, some sort of mix between writer’s block and low-self image of my writing intention, in my head? Does that make any sense? Like I do these photoshoots that I think are rad and fun, but I have this sort of suppressive depressive stupid way of not wanting to let the words flow naturally. So as torturous as this year has been for this blog, at least I’m learning to appreciate myself and my photoshoots alll over again. However, taking extra time on this blog post also kinda forced me to think about the SOURCE of the INSPIRATION, not just musically but like, Bea Miller is more than a 20-year-old “That BITCH” kinda lady who rocks out in Seattle twice a year, has pink hair and only wants to feel something, but she’s also a formerly brunette teenage rockstar who released a non-apologetic album at age 15, has grown up into a world of technology and creativity and chooses to associate herself with rad people who ‘chill her vibe’ and accentuate her colors (PINK) and I’ve learned so much about this woman through listening and appreciating. Or, like, cheering. In a crowd. Either way, what started out as me loving her second album Aurora turned into something all the way Outside with Flights of Fancy. What does that even mean anyway?! Outside was like the first song from Bea that inspired me to do a photoshoot, I literally had the song on loop x4 or something outside smoking cigarettes and bending over backwards making funny faces because I was outside, being sassy, bragging about kitchen-table-coffee and also still admiring my fave song from that album. Explains why I got the hand-written lyric sheet for it. (; Okay more about Bea Merch eventually–basically I liked jamming to that song & doing the photoshoot so much that I decided to buy a yellow jumper and even calculated the reprecussions, somehow finding ways to make 3 different chapters speak colorful volumes. I love that words and colors and outfits like to go hand in hand, and even though Aurora is technically older news after a handful of singles this year, I still really love that I did this! At first I was really trying to hone in the album and songs and shit as inspiration but the more fun it got with all those Seattle shoots the more I just really appreciated that Bea is like, a lot like me, in the sense that this entire year of writer’s block all I’ve wanted to do was FEEL something. So many different states of mind and yet I still had to, like, choose between photoshoots or actually writing and completing my posts, so basically all year I’ve been minimalistic with expression, trying to find ways to even ‘create’ per say. BUT, I can finally master the rules I previously bent and find a way to create new chapters out of 2018 outfits that were originally inspired by this bitch! Hey, I’ve had worse years of creative flow. You just wouldn’t BEA-lieve how this girl has pushed forward the stream’s current!
Here’s a sort of recap. So I can’t tell if that’s impressive or oppressive at this point but it’s all the same, rehab in California went fantastic, stayed a month and a half and am now trying to find a way to be less bored and more motivated! But basically May 2018 I started a rough draft of this whole project and after a hectic life of faux crime, writer’s block, stressful evictions and walking in circles, I’m finally back to say something here. Finally. Back bitches. And it’s this Bea Miller post! That I finally get to come back with! My returning debut! Finally or something! I worked pretty dang hard with these shoots. Journey begins probably when apathy is gone, I’m gettin’ there, slowly and surely? Actually pretty freakin’ proud. Want to check it out?
Welcome again to another Miss Understood! Missy was a post I did from this one Idaho shoot and so I was going to file this one back too because it’s old but also featured Matt. So he was wondering after I posted the last one when I was going to get to these ones. I finally am actually, totally just with this shoot I did a little earlier that year. To do it justice it’s finally just one solo shoot, so Miss Understood is a good one finally! I’m finally getting these down. The dress/skirt shirt outfit is from Dolls Kill along with the earrings. I’m definitely going to do another shoot of this same outfit some other time so hopefully people get to seeing this enough for input.Continue reading