My life has always been some combination of change and consistencies, the things that kept me balanced or taught me some skill to stay on track. Recently a lot of things have piled up, but at first I really thought it would be something I couldn’t handle or shouldn’t have to deal with. I’m stuck doing these meetings all the time, two different kinds, and I wasn’t expecting to be busy 5 days of the week every day for a while but that’s what it looks like. Something my dad was talking to me about recently was how life throws so many things at you that are unexpected but obviously this teaches you resilience and him and I both agree that we’re good at those kinds of throws from life, just knowing the ground we stand on and how stable we are through the most of it. We also talked a lot about regret this past month and it really said something to me, the way these things would pile on top of me. I’d like, go through all of it and wonder how to sit there and look back at it without it pulling my hair, really. Those two things are something I’m talking about here, but I’ve really relieved a lot of pressure in my life and in my mind by having these conversations with him. Now I love going to these meetings, with every piece of my heart, and I’m back to wearing my heels all the time and putting on my lipsticks. My outfits rock these days and this is my 4th week in a row that I’ve had something to do and somewhere to go every single day of the week. I really absolutely love where I’m at, where I’ve finally gotten into in life, and I’m just having so much fun and actually getting things out of these meetings! I love that I get out and do these things, and even if I haven’t blogged as much recently I still post every fucking month, so I’m not slacking too hard even though I’m way busier now. I feel like I really can create this direction in my life with these toolkits I have gotten from all these meetings, and I have this persistence now that I want to keep up with as I go. I’ve made a bunch of good decisions in the midst of the stupid mistakes that I’ve been throwing in there to tag the regret, but I really see what I chose in life and what good it brings me to be here at this point in time. I believe I’m the person I am because I could be, and because I want to be, every single day of my life and that helps a lot when I’m building myself. I spend a lot of time working on myself these days and I really have everything I need finally, and I’m really proud of this photoshoot! I called it Death Row after the Bebe Rexha song, because I have finally hit a point in my life this week where I really understood and just got it, what I’m doing here. Something clicked in my brain shortly after doing this shoot and I am definitely excited about my future. I see what making changes in your life does, and I feel this positive energy that I keep loving and wanting to express, so I will creatively finally. I really see why I got to this point in my life.Continue reading
So this month I’ve been trying to be more creative with my posts, and it’s definitely something that I care about a ton so I’ve really been working hard!
I have 3 looks to share with you guys, all pretty casual and random. I love the way I’ve been experimenting with my camera and my editing so some of that will be incorporated. Read more to see the looks!