My life has always been some combination of change and consistencies, the things that kept me balanced or taught me some skill to stay on track. Recently a lot of things have piled up, but at first I really thought it would be something I couldn’t handle or shouldn’t have to deal with. I’m stuck doing these meetings all the time, two different kinds, and I wasn’t expecting to be busy 5 days of the week every day for a while but that’s what it looks like. Something my dad was talking to me about recently was how life throws so many things at you that are unexpected but obviously this teaches you resilience and him and I both agree that we’re good at those kinds of throws from life, just knowing the ground we stand on and how stable we are through the most of it. We also talked a lot about regret this past month and it really said something to me, the way these things would pile on top of me. I’d like, go through all of it and wonder how to sit there and look back at it without it pulling my hair, really. Those two things are something I’m talking about here, but I’ve really relieved a lot of pressure in my life and in my mind by having these conversations with him. Now I love going to these meetings, with every piece of my heart, and I’m back to wearing my heels all the time and putting on my lipsticks. My outfits rock these days and this is my 4th week in a row that I’ve had something to do and somewhere to go every single day of the week. I really absolutely love where I’m at, where I’ve finally gotten into in life, and I’m just having so much fun and actually getting things out of these meetings! I love that I get out and do these things, and even if I haven’t blogged as much recently I still post every fucking month, so I’m not slacking too hard even though I’m way busier now. I feel like I really can create this direction in my life with these toolkits I have gotten from all these meetings, and I have this persistence now that I want to keep up with as I go. I’ve made a bunch of good decisions in the midst of the stupid mistakes that I’ve been throwing in there to tag the regret, but I really see what I chose in life and what good it brings me to be here at this point in time. I believe I’m the person I am because I could be, and because I want to be, every single day of my life and that helps a lot when I’m building myself. I spend a lot of time working on myself these days and I really have everything I need finally, and I’m really proud of this photoshoot! I called it Death Row after the Bebe Rexha song, because I have finally hit a point in my life this week where I really understood and just got it, what I’m doing here. Something clicked in my brain shortly after doing this shoot and I am definitely excited about my future. I see what making changes in your life does, and I feel this positive energy that I keep loving and wanting to express, so I will creatively finally. I really see why I got to this point in my life.Continue reading
I’m excited about this blog post and photoshoot, I had a lot of fun with my mom and Maren for it. Maren, my cousin, came over here to visit us last month to help us pack up our living room and kitchen, preparing for our remodel that’s finally happening. It was interesting, moving things and packing them up, and Maren worked pretty hard to help us, we we’re grateful to have her over. The two of us used to do these dance-off or music video types of videos way back in the day when we were a whole lot younger, like 2011 and before. One of the examples is on YouTube like this one, but we did a couple videos before that which I’ll eventually find (on my old laptop), and then I’ll post those on YouTube too. Anyway, so of course we had to do a photoshoot 10 years later when she comes to visit us here in Seattle again, so we went to a playground and got some good pictures. The lighting kept fluctuating so we have a few different kinds of lighting for this, but I love how the shoot turned out anyway. We all kind of took turns taking the pictures, standing on all the different playground things to play on. This was a good collaboration, I love what we did with it and how it turned out. The shoot was actually last month but I’m finally getting it up now, probably the last post I’ll do before I get my hair dyed again, so this is a good one. I’m catching up with all my shoots now too, once I get this up it’ll be a fresh slate for me to start shooting again, but I was taking a break from it for a while other than this one actually. We’ll see what comes next for the blog, but doing things like this one is always cool for me anyway, something unique that I can use to change up my perspectives. I don’t think I get too typical or repetitive with my shoots or posts, I think I’m always doing something new or good that I can use to frame myself better, but collaborations are always a unique icing for the cake that changes things up even more. They make it better for me to try with, something that speaks up differently and will never sound the same. I’m glad I’m finally all caught up with shoots this year, I’ve been behind for quite a while but I know exactly what to do next! Great news about this shoot with Maren, now let’s get into it finally.Continue reading
It’s been one month so I’ve finally picked an official breakup song for this round. It’s Awake by Alison Wonderland! I also got a sickass 5-piece pre-order bundle recently from Alison Wonderland for the ‘Awake’ titled album, so I incorporated that into a photoshoot I did with one of my best peeps of this era. She’s dope, let’s get into this post.
“I get it, I messed up, you pushed it, I fell off
You’ll always be better in your own eyes
Goodbye my friend
It’s been too long
I know you’ve been away
Too much was said
Too much was done
And now I’m wide awake.”
Hey everyone, good morning loves! Kind of a crazy morning for me, I fell asleep before getting ready for bed then woke up and was like “oh I should get ready to sleep” but instead stayed up and ate chocolate. On the bright side, today I finally get to publish this awesome post, of which I’ve been working on for a lil over a month; it’s weird it’s been like a month since I even did a full outfit by myself with details yet I’ve posted lots of other stuff. So this is overdue. Finally another cute outfit to talk more about. I think some of y’all might think this is dope! The rest of you, I don’t really care. Lol, love you all! Let’s get into it though. Read More (below) to dive into this with me. Let’s just see what we have here…
Hey hey. I’ve come here today at 6am after getting like a couple of crappy hours of sleep earlier buuut it’s not like I could sleep now. My head has hurt eternally. Here I am NOT to complain, I actually have better things to talk about. This past month has been pretty crazy and a weird spin of events where all of the sudden I’m on the other side of the mirror, but it’s a good thing. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be here the whole time, not on that other side which was just a vision of something that I could’ve seen be my life. But it wasn’t my life. That was never really me, as much as I was 2u947827987917491% convinced it was me. Yes I know there’s a u in there and I’m not complaining it makes sense. Lol. It wasn’t me in some aspects, and it broke me down in most of the rest. And then my eyes opened. We sobbed by a car and she opened my eyes. She made me realized I deserve so much better with how my life plays out and how people directly treat me, and it’s crazy that it became such a war around me just for me to withdraw myself from a situation. And I guess that’s the prelude to how she birthed the powerful song, “you dont know”.
Good morning all. Things have been kinda crazy for me lately. Lots of emotion and confusion, but at least I have people in my life who are caring of me. It makes me feel hugged and loved. No matter what I go through I have my fam and sometimes some other surprising characters in the mix and I don’t think anyone truly understands how we bring each other up. Anyway, I thought it was finally about time to post about Madii & I’s photoshoot, which involved chilling in her room. Seems like a weirdass name but I promise you it makes sense…to me. Lol, continue reading.
Good afternoon everyone! I haven’t been blogging much this month, things have been so insanely hectic, but I have a lot of projects lined up and I promise at least a couple new posts next week and the weeks after that etc. I have good ideas. But today, I finally get to blog about this photoshoot I did with my lovely friend Jenna, which at first was hard for me to come up with a name for but then I remembered how Harry Styles always reminds me of her because we both love him & so naturally we’re just both Sweet Creatures. It’s pretty accurate for the photoshoot too, especially with the grayscale sort of formation. I can’t wait for the next shoot I get to do with her because I have sooo many ideas. Such a fun photoshoot/glam collaboration. Let’s get into it! Continue reading….
Scorpio Season truly is supposed to be the time where I’m at my peak. FIRST – this sounds sad at first, but I promise you I’m following it up with some SERIOUS positivity. Anyway, I’m supposed to feel my strongest, do the most elite things, and challenge myself to degrees that make growing a regular & constant thing. But here I am right now sitting in Starbucks and I’m miserable — can you believe that, miserable?? Like, with all that I have and have been given and I’m capable of being miserable? I don’t even understand how. So here I am in my head listening to the faint sounds of Starbucks and I gotta tell you guys, it’s my fault. FAULT is a strong word, and no I am not being hard on myself. I’m being tender with myself and trying to understand where I’m coming from and how I can back to a peaceful mindset. Although, it’s okay that I was miserable, and it’s okay that I took a deep breath and finally got to Starbucks and ordered a tall latte and oatmeal…It’s the best I could do to take care of myself (we have like no money right now) but I gotta say I just really really truly want to cry, with all of my heart. Something that started out as such a fantastic day ended in me not being able to do anything not even being able to watch Netflix or Hulu and I gotta say, days like this are going to happen. A lot of times I’ll have great starts but a lot of times I’ll fall on my ass or face. That’s going to happen and just because I can’t predict it doesn’t mean I can’t be prepared for it, like honestly. This blog post starts out with mostly just me complaining but I’m telling you right now that I understand what’s happening within myself & around me and I see that a lot of my flaws have these holes in them where I could’ve prevented the fall, but that also doesn’t mean I need to point fingers at myself. Because I don’t. Taking responsibility for myself, my actions, my hunger and my state of mind is one thing but that doesn’t mean I need to be hard on myself or add anymore unnecessary negativity to my life. Because that’s bull!
And as I write this, I feel myself uplifting. There’s a lot of power in understanding things and there’s a LOT of power in understanding myself. I’ve found that out in so many ways. So now I want to show you guys some shoots from the past month, some interesting peaks of Scorpio Season. I know that a lot of this just sounds like something that would be on my Worry Just Enough blog but honestly, I’m just as powerful with my fashion and shopping as I am with being in my head and worrying about things. Honestly, probably more so. But I want to show you a power shoot that was totally experimental (never really done anything like it) plus a completely random Halloween shoot where I was honestly just as comforable/in my element. “What were you for Halloween?” …. “Idk but it looked cool.” And now, after a longass intro, I will dive in. I dive down and things look up.
1, 2, 3, 4… I’ve got too many people got left to prove wrong. – (track 1, Bastards)
This has been building up since this album’s release day. Like I literally have stuff piled in my computer’s lil memory bank dating mid-September just for this post. This is a blog post about Rainbow and how it completely changed and saved my life, and how I live my life everyday with the lessons and empowerment I’ve taken from this woman. I think I’m going to divide it up by Rainbow-album-song-increments, but also just showing you guys the Rainbow pre-order bundle I got along with other Rainbow merch and concert Rainbow merch too. So yeah lots of Rainbow shit. I’m both incredibly proud and also fully prepared to walk you through my world of Rainbow that I’ve created from the one and only, my favorite album of the year, and of all time. The most moving, the most inspirational, the most empowering, and the strongest fucking woman I know of.
Everything seems momentous and every moment seems neatly planned. It feels like everyday flows into the next, into my soul, through my actions, and back. It is amazing to have good vibes and things around you instead of you being bugged by constant negative thoughts — honestly, I didn’t know I was harnessing so much of that.
I couldn’t notice that I was being bugged all the time yet I do know notice that, does that make sense? It’s like… quieter in my head. And a lot of it has to do with my current favorite album (not including Rainbow) Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato. Omg you guys… it is AMAZING! And at one point I was planning a grassy photoshoot but didn’t get around to it until a month after I had the idea, and then I was naming this shoot and of course I had to use the line of the lead single “The Grass Is Greener Under Me” as my title, and everything definitely seemed to click there, and I can promise you I really am in love with this album. Let me talk more about that, and decorate the page with the promotional shoot. Lol I’m kidding but this is great.