, , , ,

Hey guys it’s me on Emotional Support! Remember when I did all those shoots in 2019 and didn’t post them until 2020? Or however I ended up dating & posting them? Or remember the handful of shoots I did in 2020 that I slowly released with them, like using multiple shoots per blog post? Yeah it was a good year for catching up. Today I have one of the last photoshoots to post from this year 2020, and I’m thinking of doing it old style. I might crop the pictures or use them full size. So this was from November and I’m just now getting this up here, it was with some rad pants and this Emotional Support Animal graphic tee from Rainsford which I got at an Aly&AJ concert in mid 2018. Met the girl at her merch table after her set, and it was super cool. So I got this shirt & a lighter from Rainsford that day. This is about the shirt, which I’ve cropped into a crop top by now. Emotional Support Animal is the name of Rainsford’s EP, so check that out if you want to. Such a cool shirt, it says the same thing. Now me with emotional support with myself includes a lot of breathers and some guilt-ridden “get-rid of” things and feelings. Things I could pass on, like excessive vaping, and this random sobriety block that I have with only weed. It’s weird but it’s my life. The lighting for this shoot was interesting. Tried to get it something right but it’s a left. Oh well, finally got my front page of blog posts in the right order, I think. Eventually I’ll be re-editing some of those blog posts, maybe working on them a little bit more. Who knows, when I first did this blog post it was January and I was a little behind on photoshooting, but now I’m moving this post to December because not only was this photoshoot from November 2nd, 2020 but my hair was still long with the blonde at the ends. On December 31st, I got my hair cut to my shoulders, taking off all the left over blonde & leaving my hair my natural color, shoulder length. It was kind of cool, I got the haircut because my hair was falling out for a while. That happens to me sometimes, but oh well. This shoot belongs in 2020 like when I took it, so now it is. December, even. I’ve been working hard on my blog. Let’s get into this post, should be a good one.

I almost don’t remember the details for my makeup so I’m not really going to incorporate it. That’s a classic mistake of mine. Whether it’s because I took this shoot in November or just that I wasn’t keeping track of the makeup, I don’t know. Either way, I’m pretty sure the lipstick is by Sugar. One of their lipsticks that I got from Ipsy, quite a while back. Can’t remember the name of it for the life of me but maybe someday I will remember, if I haven’t throw it away yet I guess. What I can do for that is definitely notice that my makeup was good this day. I loved the blush, the whole cheek thing worked perfectly for me this time. And this is even from November, when my skin was doing pretty dang good. It kind of tanked after December, but that’s okay. Makeup will always help I think, I love getting all done up for shoots. I’ve been trying to get back to using lipstick more and making it work but it’s weird when every place requires masks now. I’m also just the type of person who accidentally uses the wrong lipstick sometimes, because I have so many and when I go for breaks from wearing makeup & stuff for a while, I start forgetting what each lipstick looks like, and then I tend to use the wrong one. Very interesting, but at least I wore lipstick for this shoot. I wish I at least had a name on the blush I used but that’s…one of my issues. Not too bad, but still part of the problem. Either way, I used to have such in-depth details for everything every time I wanted to write about my makeup for that day but after I posted It’s Not Me, It’s U I changed a bit in the way that I do things, honestly. And now the pictures just rock, but the words are pushed these days. Except for the fact that I have very good flow with re-editing this post later on, and now it has a lot better of flow than it used to (this post does, I mean). Not forced and not lacking, but pushed is what I meant anyway. I’m good at this, actually. I’ll get my flow back. I’m already convinced it’s come back since the year of 2021 for sure. Wow, honestly don’t forget to checkout the EP that this shirt was promoting, this girl is good. Rainsford, is it. Like I’ve said before, I got this shirt plus a lighter from her when she opened for this tour. It was cool to meet her, and now I’m working on this post. We’ll see more of it once I post this on Celebrity Merch Base, my collector’s blog for merchandise. The link should be there & it should be the working post once you click on that, with every picture I’ve got of the shirt on there. Also included the lighter, no use in putting them in separate posts on there. Now back to this lovely set of pictures.

I love the way my back & ass look in that last picture there. I know this is a weird something special shoot but it’s still something. I wanted to make sure to follow up with my stats too. What my stats are like is…well, in November I got up to 1.1k views. That’s more in a month than any month of my life in blogging. 1k used to be my high score in 2018. Remember how my front page looked before It’s Not Me? It was the Awake & Altar-ing Life and also my Genie 2.0 & Bottle posts. They’d be on the second page now. I know I’m naming this after the shirt and stuff but…those were all merchandise or music inspired posts too. All my Xtina inspired posts I just love, none of it really included merch. It was just a bunch of posts inspired by her music. This is kind of a hybrid post because yes, it is a merch shirt, but with these pants from Goodwill I think it rocks. This is definitely inspired by Rainsford, but I’m not sure how to explain in what ways. I guess I’ll just discuss my own emotional support, or something like that. She’s a good artist but I wish she had more music. I’ll eventually post this crop top & the lighter from the concert booth on my Celebrity Merch Base blog but for now after No Tears Left & Scary World being just graphic tees, this follows that pursuit. So now I guess it’s about graphic tees. I’m sure one day it’ll be different but this is another post between breaks from my blog. I like that I hand-distressed or cropped this shirt too, I do that sometimes with my clothes. It turned out pretty good actually. Plus, I also used to not crop my pictures so here’s the next collage with that same sort of style. I’m excited for her to come out with new music some day! I might even include some concert videos on my other blog when I post this shirt. That would be cool! And my flow is not bad here, really. So that’s pretty cool. Now check out these shadows on the wall.

I thought that’d be a good idea. All my years of blogging…I get nostalgic for my 2017 shoots sometimes. I can’t believe I cut my hair after this. No more blonde, at all really. No more of that left over balayage. Can’t wait to get my hair dyed again once it grows out a bit more. It’ll be dyed to match my extensions, of course. But for now, none of my extensions work for me. And that’s okay! I’m surprised it’s finally a new year actually, I took a small break after “Scary World!“. I made it to January before I ended up posting this, but now I’m changing the date to December 2020 so it won’t really seem like I took a break after “Scary World!” And that’s okay. “Scary World!” was one of my favorite posts of all time, still is. Now I’m not sure what’s next. I guess that requires emotional support. Or maybe I’m providing it by relishing in what I do. It’s pretty easy to love yourself when you’re like me but that’s not the same as hard work. It might be someday. Maybe hard working on myself will really change me. Maybe hard work on my blog will really make me feel complete, or somewhere similar to such. Maybe I should stop fantasizing about moving out and do more blogshoots in this same room. Of course I really will! It’s the same damn room as 2015 on the blog. Original Gangstress was my first ever blogpost and it was done at a different side of the same blue house. How that makes me feel almost 6 years later? Older. It just makes me feel older. Maybe I’ve grown up or maybe I’m just more mature. I did this shoot right before I turned 22, even. So that’s pretty cool but I need to push for something next. We’ll see how it goes, actually.

That’s about it. These pants are even from Goodwill and my dad helped me put a button on them after I got them. Such an interesting outfit, not sure if I’d wear it again honestly. But it’s a good quality outfit. The necklace I’m wearing is a clay star done by my friend Jessica in like 2018, a baked clay star with a smiley face on it. This girl was incredible, I kind of miss being her friend. I also have a clay bat that she made me, it’s a keychain. Oh well, another simple story like that sometime, and I’ll write more about what she gave me. Maybe I could even see her again someday, who knows. It had sentimental value with Karmann & I, I don’t even fully remember why, but I kind of connected that star to him that year. So that’s kind of cool. They were just a couple friends of mine that year, and I wore that star all the time in 2018. Then Jessie, my stepmom, changed what cord it was on so now it’s like new, but still the same star. I’m just wearing vans for this outfit, nothing too cool. I’m thinking, for the new year, of changing everything. It all starts with It’s Not Me (which I’m again mentioning) finally flips to the second page, off the front page. Meaning I’ve posted enough since that post to cycle through all that. I’ve finally posted enough to get past that one. It was a post to make up for not posting a lot that year and it was hefty with at least 4 main photoshoots involved. Now even though everything I’ve done in 2020 was better to me than that post, it still makes sense for 2019. This is also from 2020 like I mentioned, but other than that it’s good. I’m all good. I got this. I’ve got a handle on this new year and I’m excited to perform. It all starts with my current perfume obsession or how often I paint my nails. I’m excited for a cozy post, fun shoot in my room with makeup I can list and a nail color I’ll get good pictures of. This polish I used in this shoot was Jenni from Julep, a beautiful orange metallic actually. There we go, now that’s it. I ran out of MAC Foundation Powder recently so now I just use Ipsy powders/samples and Flesh of course. I got some really good brushes from Ipsy though. And that’s it, I’ve said that’s it but that’s all I got for now. I’m running out of Christina Aguilera fragrances but at least I have a ton of Xtina inspire posts. I swear, I have like zero bottles left of her perfumes but I used to have like 5 when I lived with my dad. I’m just really passionate about Xtina’s perfumes! If I were you I’d just checkout some of those cool inspired posts of mine on my blog, like searching something in my engine or finding something that appeals to you. That’s a beautiful idea. PS. I need to work on my Instagrams more often. That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about, my @ishopfordays instagram for one. @abbziez is of course my other one, it’s really all about my blog though. Don’t take too many selfies these days, just photoshoots actually. Have a good day and a fun rest of the year. I got this in the bag. Even if it’s just graphic tees right now, haha, I got this. I also can’t wait to catch up on my Dolls Kill orders. That’ll really help me while I’m on track, so many cool outfits came from shopping there. I’ve always really been an online shopper, since Gymboree when I was little. Did I ever used to mention that I made my own carts on the site when I was like 8 or 9? I remember it pretty well. And all the years I was doing Nasty Gal, totally paid off! So many cool back in time outfits surrounding Nasty Gal. Merchandise is also something I need to shoot more, while working on CelebrityMerchBase. I have just so much merch, really. Eventually I’ll be posting all of it. Doing shoots with what I haven’t shot yet, collecting & blogging upon the concept. I’m getting really good at this stuff. Thanks so much for reading, I’ll see you in the new year. So glad to be catching up with things, I have so many more shoots yet too come here.

My Shadow on the Right Side of the House of Mine; Emotional Support.