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One of my favorite things ever is when I get this wind of inspiration to do a shoot in whatever I’m wearing at the time. Just a feeling of motivation, prepping me for those days where I’m just really doing well in terms of my flow. Some days don’t have that kind of wind, but I can always rework what I’m dealing with. For example, it’s been a while since I’ve posted this blog post & I just now came back rewrite it a little. I think I’ve got the hang of this by this point. Now granted, I know the first photo of this blog post is me with red hair again, like a lot of my older posts. And in a lot of posts both before & after this was either blonde or back to brown, so this post doesn’t really weave the best looking timeline, but I promise you to trust me. Like what days my hair was dyed verses fading to a rather blonde sometimes. That’s pretty great to me, actually. This photoshoot here was done in August 2019, and the other is from October 2020 – both with the same shredded shirt. But not to forget to mention, the side B photoshoot I did in my room this year to correspond with this photoshoot, had like 3 pictures of my outfit at my mom’s house so I finally live with her again. Exciting, actually! You’ll be seeing more of it as I go, but yeah, no more dad’s apartment. I definitely still lived with my dad when I first did No Tears Left pt.1, but we did the shoot in Bellevue (a wealthy city near Seattle). I got some really, very nice, good, pictures of my room this time around! So about that same shirt, No Tears Left To Cry, with a different tank top underneath (a grey one then a purple one) with my hair grown out from it’s dye and fading into the blonde balayage-growout. Basically I just really love these shoots, and my hair obviously has changed since summer of ’19, when I did plenty of good photoshoots from my red hair and to my blondes, too. So this dye job or a different one, of course, and my roots were tryin’ for it honestly, but I have a bunch different red haired photoshoots here if you’re wanting to check them out! I’ve had a few different kinds of hair colors and they all rocked differently. Such a timeline for my hair and the shoots I do with it and the many stages – like eras, of time or my life, plus the ‘processing of it all.

Either way, it’s fine to have this post where it is on my blog, smack dab near the end of 2020. I’m loving how this turned out, even though eventually one day I’m going to fix all my 2019s again, with their different dates & duo shoots that sometimes go together. This’ll even out that timeline, but in actuality, getting back to the post at hand, in August 2019 I got my hair done at Gene Juarez after I dyed it at home (with my dad at his apartment, because I lived with him back then) using Lime Crime’s Valentine in terms of hair dye, it wasn’t that bad! And then Matt & I went and did this photoshoot outside, after my appointment where I had gotten a free haircut. I was e-mail subscribed to their model casting, for hair models (at Gene Juarez) so I went, and got my second to last shoot from the year of 2019 that day. Meaning there was one more shoot after this, also from August, that was my last shoot that I did in the year of 2019 (it was Moodswings, later in August, also by Matt, but posted earlier than this post) and that was the last one I did for that year. Plus even though it was raining, we got some pretty good shots that day. Extra special, if you like the rain. No Tears Left in a rainy scenery which is perfect, definitely keeping tacks to pin them all on me as it happens. So what we were doing here in Bellevue (with all the pretty buildings, similar to downtown) which was pretty cool, putting effort into our photoshoot, trying so hard not to neglect each other with these days, or then. I feel like that’s what it really is was with Matt & I sometimes, and so we make an effort, and come together to do something that we can both work at. That is to me, productive, and by making our ends meet as we try to further an understanding of each other. That’s what I’m thinking about this whole hair metaphor, because I’ve done like 11 different photoshoots with Matt by now, and there was so many different transformations along those lines of it. We went through a lot together actually, but uh, still hangout to photoshoot sometimes, even if we don’t date anymore. It exists within us, a friendship, hopefully. We get each other, and we do things like this together! So again, there in Bellevue, I was dressed like this for some reason, and we had brought my camera, planning on doing this shoot! Then of course we did the shoot right after I was done at their salon, but my hair has by now (November 2020) lost all of it’s red color and is, at this point, blonde as heck, with brunette growout, and that’s my red to blonde photoshoot duet this time, my loves. This post just reminds me of Celebrity Merch Base, maybe I could write more like this for these pictures on that blog. But we’ll see what direction it ends up going, after I work on it for longer! Hopefully there’s not too much that I have to work on when cramming words into a post, trying to actually fit the rest in! Make it sing, but break it up. Into sizeable chunks.

I almost contemplated calling these mid-makeup pictures like No Tears Left Makeup or whatever, like a headline! I love my titles actually. No more 2-year-old photoshoots coming in late, with bad hints and other things hidden, between the lines of mine. No more tears! I thought my roots looked very interesting in this post, it’s kind of cute! Now let’s check out those pictures in the middle of doing my makeup, and just watch me do it. Oh well, Matt took some great pictures with us being out and about that day, really out & around in Bellevue for a bit. I’m glad I had his help with this photoshoot, or it could’ve been a bust. Realistically speaking, because this outfit is ‘interesting’, I really appreciated Matt’s camera work, with whatever I was doing with this shoot, and I’m pretty sure he got angles I wouldn’t have had without his help. That’s cool though, meeting someone halfway creatively makes me feel pretty understood, actually.

One of my favorite songs of the moment is Tempted by Jazz Cartier. That means something to me about when I wrote this post. Either way, this is definitely an Ariana shirt though, and I’m probably going to have to keep it for a long time. Or just until I can properly find someone who likes this top more than I do, and hand it off to them. You’ll see why at the end! Even if I cut it a little too short, which happens to me on occasion, it still turned out pretty good, for that boob-style of shirt. That’s okay though, I have quite a few shirts I cropped into a crop top. Hand-distressed sort of stuff. It’s rare that I screw it up too bad and I also really like the dig the placement of this shirt. I work it very well actually, so that’s cool, and even though I live with my mom again, there were a lot of perks living with my dad in those days. Like that collage above this, that was taken in my room at my dad’s apartment, and after we moved I never really found that pair of jeans again. They’re probably lost in storage, but haha the name is the best part about those jeans. Never would really buy another pair though. But we put a lot of stuff in storage after my dad lost his apartment. Oh well, now I live with my mom & I have what I have with me. So that’s alright, I thought posting this crop top on Celebrity Merch Base last night was totally perfect, too. Now I’m sitting here still working on them. So even with mental blocks or writing issues or whatever, I’m still totally blogging. Working on both sites now, yet of course. Something I learned about promotion verses merchandise is like, that one Miley shirt from 2007 that’s on there, that was actually a shoot I thought I was going to post on here. A Shop For Days type. But not really. I really never have to post that shoot. It’s basically a crappy looking photoshoot with a lot of sentimental value, I’ll link it here so you know what Celebrity Merch Base (the Miley shirt post) is all about. I’m keeping track on that site! I can’t wait until it’s like a ‘community database’, or something for merch! I’ve just got to ask a certain number of people (to get to the right ones) to see who wants to do that with me. Offer them a fantastic idea, including Smash Hits & DIY Custom Merch shirts. Good concept, look at what I have done, in terms of custom & DIY, in terms of appeal vs. authenticity, concerts vs. pre-order bundles of music & it’s merchandise…There’s a really big market out for that. So, next I got my hair done then we went outside!

I like that I wore those shoes. Even with that red backpack. See there’s even still more pictures from out there, and we were right by a Gucci. So another Gucci reference! Like the bracelet! Like the bodysuit era! 2017? Either way, this was actually kind of fun. These are the “Wanna Betta Butt” jeans that I probably have in storage or something, like I was sayin’. Just haven’t seen them since the move. Other than that, that’s a Dolls Kill belt. You’d never believe how much hell I went through with that star necklace. I can’t even remember where it’s from, but I’ll look it up someday soon hopefully. It came in a cute little purple dust baggie. Then yesterday my friend took me to body jewelry plus and I got a new star belly ring! Just yesterday from when I first picked up on this post, but now that I’ve come back to re-edit it, I’ve got to say. There was also a silver key belly ring that I got with the star one. Still love this star necklace here, and I think that is what reminded me of the belly ring, but either way I’m all good. Even with the water dropless on the lens, I’m doing just fine. I did a really cool merch shoot of the shirt I was wearing too, yesterday. Sneak peak, since I’ve already finally posted it, it was “Scary World!”. That’s the photoshoot I did yesterday relatively to when I posted this blog post. I’m not even afraid of my frequency of how or often that I write, or in what ways that I write. I just typically post my new photoshoots, keeping up as best that I can, with working on Celebrity Merch Base on the side of it, but it requires a certain amount of effort in order to even try to fix my writing. Oh well, I made this post lengthier. I think one of these nights, when I’m finally on my rhythm, I’ll just stay up all night and work on my blogging. It just really depends on the waves of mine that are flowing, like which part of my cycling can I loophole next. Finding something beautiful to do in compliments of what I’ve already worked so hard on. So, I guess this is a good shirt then, if that’s the way I’m looking at it. Now for like, the best collage of all of them.

And then I tip-toed home! Yay! Wow these turned out better than I kept thinking. Glad I did it. I also found a better tank top that goes with this crop top so let me show you – not only did I do this mini shoot (which is below, with my blonde-ish hair) in October 2020 but it’s mainly at this point to show how pretty my hair is from all those washes out of red dye. I used to have someone dye my hair red a lot, until this time I last used Lime Crime hair dye which was in rehab, September of 2019. Last time my hair was red. That’s plenty of time to change an era of your life, or just correct it. So now I’m here and my hair is really pretty grow out (not rooty like the shoot before was) more of a transition to just revealing the blonde parts and exposing my natural hair color, like below. Plus, my mom of course loves me and I get to live here! This same house again, probably just my 2nd time moving back in. Still is crazy though, everything we’ve gone through. Similar to my dad & I. Recent new developments are next. But I have a bunch of different photoshoots from the last year that I did them (2019) and all of those blow me away, actually. I’m almost done with my queue. I actually really love these combinations, the two different shoots in one blog post. This is getting somewhere. I can’t wait until I’m up to date on the rest of the photoshoots. We’ll see how things go, the rest of the year!

That magazine rack is new and that’s almost up to date. I must be waiting for some more magazines or just got some more since I’ve shot this, lol. Eventually I’m going to have a bunch of rad pictures of the same poster in a different place from moving rooms so much, like I’ve had my Xtina collage in 3 different rooms in my life. When I first purchased my Xtina collage framed poster, I was living with Matt still. Then I took it to my dad’s when we moved in with him at his apartment, and now I have it at home at my mom’s. And by the way, Liberation was one of the first shoots I struggled with with posting, honestly. But I just now went back and fixed it, so check that one out too. I’ve got to keep up with periodically editing things, not everything is spot on really. But I have all this here, and I don’t really need to worry about anything because of it. You’ll see more. I think my other central-focus blogs are really cool actually, or even if you check my Concert Almanac page! I’m not even up to date on concerts yet but I got merch from sooo many of those concerts! I get to post all of that eventually! Celebrity Merch Style or Merch Style on instagram or whatever. I’ll remember to catch up on @merchstyle! But do you prefer the site? We’ll see. Coming up. That’s a cool set of links right there, hopefully you know what you should check out. I’m excited for this post to be read in the future, like I said or have kept saying, I’ve really got the hang of this. Hopefully I’ll continue being a rockstar at with what I’m working on.

As for my site’s home page’s header still being brown hair (search How To) I’m not changing that header for a long time because I’m working on something better. And it may not be one of the first 5 or 10 photoshoots I’ve done since this happened, because I’m giving myself a whole bunch of time before I comparatively to how good of quality (differently) each of my blog shoots are, and I just don’t like many of my new ones as much as the brown-haired closet photo anyway. So for 2021 I’d say I’m going to play it by ear, which for now is perfect because my hair’s the same color as that one again, just slightly different. And older, actually. But I still have a bunch of congestion in my closet’s organization so it’ll be a while before I try to get a new shot in front of this closet of mine. But this is my favorite room picture of mine so far, yet. I like the overlay of Celebrity Merch Base in this post. I have so many good pieces of merch, just know I have a bazillion merch/concert tees! All hanging up in that closet, probably still color-coordinated.

My Current Room @ My Mom’s House

There was only a total of 20 photoshoots that I did in the year of 2019, and in 2020 there was definitely only 8 or so. But of course, in 2018 I had done around 40 photoshoots total, coming back down to earth after 2016 & 2017 both had almost 90 photoshoots each for their year. .I I just had taken a break from writing for a chunk of the year 2020, but I makeup for it with backdating all those shoots throughout the years that I’ve almost never wrote about until now. At least I’m all caught up by now! I used to just keep taking a hiatus from writing, but at least I was still actively doing the photoshoots. So many of them turned out so good but then I just never got around to posting them, from different hair colors/different things with my hair for me, in the past 3 or more years. I’ve sure had a roller coaster of stages of my hair my whole life, it used to just fall out a ton, and then I got my hair back and thick again. But then it fell out at the end of 2020 and I had to cut it short from what I was losing. Anyway my growout was bad sometimes, but I think it looked fine down at the bottom in terms of my balayage and the red being out of the picture. Significant, how I think I chose to do this. I’m learning a bunch about myself. I agree with the first outfit, but the second one still tallied it up for the short run. Eventually we get to cutting my hair, which happened a couple of months after I first posted this post. Now let’s get to the last pictures I took with these sets, it’s like pictures in my room at my dad’s apartment, of a few photogenic-seeming pictures of some recents of clothes (merchandise, included) that I was wanting to shoot soon, and then also this decorated fabric mannequin that we keep in storage, all blinged out. I did, like I said in the beginning, a photoshoot for Moodswings with Matt, and it was like the day after this one (with the red hair) and here’s the a picture of the shirt before the photoshoot! Probably hadn’t cut it yet, I ended up distressing holes & stuff into the Tillie top because I thought it was rad. But I still haven’t gotten pictures of Lost Girls yet, eventually I’ll work on that, I’m guessing the summer of 2021 I’ll have that tank top shot. I make goals like that sometimes, and it makes sense. Of course though, one day I’ll wear that DOLL Choker again, for a shoot, and maybe it’ll be 90 photoshoots in a year again (but the main goal is 100 photoshoots in a year, by the way!) one year where I really work at it! And that’s coming up here shortly. Wait until you see how much I’ve touched up in the year 2021 already. It’s only going to get better from here.

Can’t wait to see if I’ll find those “Wanna Betta Butt?” jeans of mine that I was wearing in the first shoot, if I’m not able to find them yet (like if they fell behind in a storage box or something) or if I had ended up getting rid of them and just forgot, either way. But I’m the kind of person who knows I’ll get back the original and/or an equivalent, working with as much use for me as those did for me, or something else. But those second pair of pants I did definitely get rid of, because they were size 27. I’m a few sizes below that, so I finally called it quits on those pants. I should just relish more on how much I love presenting all these pieces, you know just working on a photoshoot is enough for me, especially when I get to write it & frame it with every string in my heart. Also, speaking more with the pictures-do-me-justice here, I love that Louis Vuitton belt on the mannequin; might not be legit, but I ended up giving it back to my friend Josh anyway (the source of the belt & a bag of women’s clothes). He’s given me a bunch of stuff that he let me keep in the past so that was totally fine to me, so check out “You Go, Girl!” with the bright red shoes (same as the first photoshoot) & the floral jacket that I got from Josh’s old stash of his old girlfriend’s clothes. One of my fave things was going through that stuff with him, I’m glad I at least took pictures of the belt that day in my room, on the mannequin.

Bellevue is a little bit different than Seattle, with Seattle being the downtown, typical city of the state, and of course I’ve done photoshoots in both places. I’ll get back to going downtown to shoot someday again soon I’m sure, but for now I’ve just got my tasks at hands, I’ve got my room at my moms back and I have plenty of outfits I’m going to shoot in here. Eventually I’ll do the side of the house (one of the 2 sides where I shoot) again, like my first or a bunch of different blue house background photoshoots. That’s a goal for 2021 actually, touch up on the walls again, see if I can get the lighting this time. The lighting sometimes sucks outside at my house. Excited to do those shoots, outside might be a little tricky but once I’ll really get the hang of it – you’ll see what I mean if this blog post is already on the second page, because if I’ve written that much since this post then I’m on a good one, taken at the park down the road from my house. Yep, been a while but I have definitely since caught up with Matt. These days, that is. So we’ve done some more shoots together. With or without the friends I have in my life, I think I’m doing pretty good for myself, honestly. Didn’t expect to spend that much time re-writing this blog post but as it is, the only posts I’ve linked only helped, and now I’m going to go work on one of those! Make them fit a bit nicer on my page. I say I’m invested in this. Plus I’m usually excited about my life & my future so I just can’t wait to see it all happen with my blog, like one day I’ll have people commenting on old blog posts from time to time, checking up on work like this, and that’s definitely another goal I have for one day. One day I’ll post a goal list or blog post about it to accentuate that. That was a nice wrap-up, I think I scaled this post to around a 7 or 8 out of 10 in terms of quality for this post. I’m getting better everyday though! More skilled with the same tools that I use all the time, which gets me by with everything I’ve got. Thanks for reading!