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In 2019 I did so much for myself and my photography, I really did. With the slowing down in 2018 up until the half (and the backdated) like It’s Not U (being one of the only posts I posted in 2019) and all the hair changes, well I’ve finally zeroed down at this point with my hair growing out and toning down… So now I’m here with my half-balayage and my room at my moms again just to be back here posting. I’ve got thousands of pictures of me at my moms, all so different, and fixing my set-up comes soon even. The biggest 2020 addition to my room was the magazine rack, and I’m back with my CD Collection as well, which was always here. So let me tell you a bit about my photography and my merchandise and how it intertwines with my style and my inspiration. One of my only regrets was doing a shoot like Liberation with Matt’s dirty mirror and then not having anything to write about with it, it being the last thing I did in 2018 for my blog. So whatever lack of connection there can’t change my ambition, I’ve seriously found a new ambition. It’s almost hard to explain but one day I just sat in my chair with my hair up, knowing that none of my extensions will fit me for a while, and got pictures of my Playboy shirt from Missguided. I don’t think I ever got pictures of that lot of clothes, something I would’ve done a couple years ago. Like a NastyGal box of clothes that I filed in my book with the order receipt, each thing on the list marked off into pictures, and I kept track. Seriously I used to not miss a thing with my blog. But inspired by Billie I recently cut the nightmare white graphic tees into a crop top and came back home to take a million pictures, not minding that I was cutting out my face. This is where I cross paths to things like CelebrityMerchBase to keep track of all those cool merch shirts I’ve gotten. I even missed that Billie concert but still got the shirts even. This post is about those two things. No wonder about Playboy Style or Billie’s. I named this Scary World! as a good one so thanks all for another Shop For Days post!

Playboy Gold in Scarier

If for some reason it made more sense to mention now that I did the Playboy shoot in October then I had a chain of good makeup days right before it. I need some good style days in order to really jumpstart myself back into shoots, but the good makeup days with lipstick were fun. I got some casual videos of it but at least did like 4 photoshoots finally in my house. So it’s not like I’m slacking but we’re just wondering where I get this stuff from! But seriously, I then did this Playboy shoot after the Sassy one, the Starry one and the No Tears Extra one. All four were taken in October of 2020. And the last one gets posted. I’ve got to say, the amount of outfits I’ve done with this shirt, no wonder I’m combining it in post with the Billie one. Didn’t remember to predict that but it works, totally well. Plus the face-up camera shot and all the other blonde-brunette bores from this season rocked. I even really like the full sized uncut pictures for both of these a lot, I might just include them like that more often. Or maybe just one of those each, like a feature.

I’m getting to the point where my jewelry is from like “Goodwill” now or something (or just from my stepmom) so maybe not the best time to mention that this is not as good but good enough for what it’s worth, like how every gold piece of jewelry I have is pretty much old or handed to me like Jessie would but it does explain a lot with how much of my jewelry she actually makes or fixes. Maybe it’s not that important but the little lucky guy necklace with the Jade stone in it is a cool thing. So from now on when I do shoots it’s not going to be straight out of a box from any brand, even though Yes! This shirt is from Miss Guided! And it’s not going to be correlated to much that I can keep like a receipt, it’ll just be anything I’m inspired by at the time with what I’m wearing. Inspire me to wear skirts and dresses more and I’ll have something like that for you. But hey, other than graphic tees like this, I have so many concert tees and tops and crops and lots, like both may be considered a graphic tee but they go in a different part of my closet. Now on to the one I cropped! 1/2

I started dreaming really well a couple weeks ago (and yes I’m 22 now, my birthday was on the 15th) and now I’ve been loving sleep. Seriously I think these are nightmare monsters on this shirt, and what inspired me to finally cut it was surprising actually, because I had two Billie shirts from the last Seattle concert she did but I didn’t get to see the concert. I missed it, sort of, but at least we got the shirts! Still not sure if I care to cut the other Billie World Tour crop with the dates on the back so I’ll just leave it. For now I actually got home and took pictures of this shirt one time when I was hanging out with a friend wearing it, so yeah November 11th is when I did this shoot and believe me that I call it Scary World. I’ve been inspired a million times by songs and the names tied to them, but I wanted to call this just that. It seems like what I’d call this shirt. So Celebrity Merch Base will be different but it’ll be a collective of all these pictures similar to this with just way less writing so that’s always a good thing to catalog. Let’s check out more pictures of it, I know what month it is, it seems weird that I’ve been blogging with months going by in between but I’ll pick up the speed.

When I go out into the world I hope to be prepared for it in whatever ways I can be. One thing I’ve noticed about dreaming lately though is all those times I was inspired with makeup, verses how an outfit typically works out for me, it doesn’t depend on what kind of sleep I’ve had lately. That sort of revolving inspiration can push me differently, actually. I was saying how there was this new ambition that’s got to me, and how there will be more concerts next year to look forward to, and this isn’t the wrong time to be writing but hopefully I see where I’m going with these things most the time. I just really can’t drive alone through the midst of it! I don’t have a license. Moving past whatever that means, I got some really good pictures next to my CD Collection, and I’m even just seriously posting this much about this one shirt and no face pictures. I love this like that though, I think this was a really good idea for a shoot! I’ve definitely gotten somewhere with this idea too.

Honestly I really dig this whole shoot. I really totally do. I thought this was obviously inspired by Billie but didn’t try to drag out why, and I know how many of my photoshoots have merchandise shirts in them but I did this one a different style for sure. I may or may not try a little harder to do shoots like this but it just depends on what I’ll be wearing when I get inspired next. The next full-fledged makeup (including eyeliner) that I do I’ll do a photoshoot with. Same room different rules every year. I think this post actually turned out really good but I’m not going to post it until tomorrow. Don’t beat yourself up, get some good sleep, enter a dream and find people to dream with. Find things to exhibit, show your favorite person what you mean, and forget the reason you were ever stuck. This was one of the most freeing blog posts I’ve written actually, makes me think I’m going to fix everything one day. Plus I noticed that my belly ring didn’t show up the best in pictures, so maybe I should chill out a bit on what I need to remember through my photography. The necklace with that huge awesome clasp was actually made by my Stepmom, Jessie. She has this jewelry brand called BossKty. The belly ring was supposed to be a silver key with a little pink on it. These pants don’t fully fit me but I’m seen wearing them a lot actually. That CD Collection I started in 2009 or something & I have over 700 of them.

So October & November 2020 for those two shoots, not too bad! Posted in December then. Lastly I had some pictures of me wearing my Playboy green sweatpants, that are probably currently in Storage for me. Either way, I had to include some of those pictures. This shoot was done in June 2019 and actually surprised me when I had found it. So no wonder the Spring 2019 order from Missguided has some clothes in it that I’ve never done pictures of yet. There’s the two playboys, the Barbie bag and then a red skirt I’ll eventually get some pictures of. I just need to make it to NEXT Spring for the rest. Nice Playboy sweatpants though, right?

I guess I just named that All Your Fault. I’ve done a shoot of that shirt before… Next thing to do? Post it non-exclusively on celebritymerchbase.com. I’ve already got from Moodswings/Save Yourself, Scary World, All Your Fault etc. posted on there… and to wrap things up I’m so glad I had the motivation to write this whole thing. It’s not going to be a bad month for stats afterall. But while we’re waiting on me to comply with CMB I just thought I’d this with saying I get to dream tonight. And even though my face was broken out in June of last year, totally unrelated to this June, and even though I have pictures of myself for days just waiting to make a connection, and even if I didn’t always do my makeup when I did a shoot… doesn’t mean I’m never wearing eyeliner again. Like I said, you have a word of mine, more shoots coming. I’m thankful for my blog, man!

P.S. – I’ve cut shirts before, and to no avail they turned out bad, either jaggedy or a wrong length, but the cool thing about me is my very first blog post ever was OG with a Coca-Cola Crop Top that I hand-distressed back in 2015, and I’ve gotta say, I did that one myself and I still have it. So with the hand-distressing it’s significant when I pop another one like the Billie shirt and then end up liking it enough for a photoshoot. I think I did it perfectly, actually. I’ll never cut my All Your Fault shirt though, that’s for sure! Plus I had a Glass Animals top (the pineapple concert tee) that I cropped and then there’s a black one of there’s that I didn’t cut. So just like how I haven’t cut the other worldwide Billie (and didn’t wait to include that one) there’s usually two corresponding concert tees and the rights to do much with them. Like I’ve seen Portugal. The Man twice so I have two of their shirts (a black & green one and a white & blue one, I’ve actually posted those I think too) and I have this Bebe Shirt & a White One from seeing her twice and then I have two other Billie Eilish shirts…(4 total) and the orange one is so large it’s not cut-able! I could eventually get pictures of that and post it on CMB but I wanted to also get this crop top on my main blog – so we’ll see after I catch ALL of that up on the secondary. It’ll be for days! But I didn’t see a single concert at all in the year 2020. So regrets, a little bit? Here’s to the next year of concerts and what I’ll be wearing to them. The end!