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Hey guys it’s a new year! Remember when I did all those shoots in 2019 and didn’t post them until 2020? Or remember the handful of shoots I did in 2020 that I slowly released with them? Yeah it was a good year for catching up. Today I have one of the last photoshoots to post from last year, and I’m thinking of doing it old style. I might crop the pictures or use them full size. So this was from November and I’m now getting it up this January, it was with some rad pants and this Emotional Support Animal graphic tee from Rainsford which I got at an Aly&AJ concert in 2017. Met the girl, it was super cool. Now me with emotional support with myself includes a lot of breathers and some guilt-ridden “get-rid of” things and feelings. Things I could pass on, like excessive vaping, and this random sobriety block that I have with only weed. It’s weird but it’s my life. The lighting for this shoot was interesting. Tried to get it something right but it’s a left. Oh well, finally got my front page of blog posts in the right order.

I almost don’t remember the details for my makeup so I’m skipping that. That’s a classic mistake. What I can do to makeup for that is definitely notice that my makeup was good this day. I’ve been trying to get back to my lipstick and make it work but it’s weird when every place requires masks now. I wish I at least had a name on the blush I used but that’s…one of my issues. I used to have such in-depth details for everything that I posted but after It’s Not Me, It’s U I changed a bit. And now the pictures just rock, but the words are pushed. Not forced and not lacking, but pushed! I’m good at that, actually.

I love the way my back & ass look in that last picture there. I know this is a weird something special shoot but it’s still something. I wanted to make sure to follow up with my stats too. What my stats are like is…well, in November I got up to 1.1k views. That’s more in a month than any month of my life in blogging. 1k used to be my high score in 2018. Remember how my front page looked before It’s Not Me? It was the Awake & Altar-ing and also my Genie 2.0 & Bottle posts. They’d be on the second page now. I know I’m naming this after the shirt and stuff but…those were all merchandise or music inspired posts too. All my Xtina inspired posts I just love, none of it really included merch. But now after No Tears Left & Scary World being just graphic tees, this follows that pursuit. So now I guess it’s about graphic tees. I’m sure one day it’ll be different but this is another post between breaks from my blog. I also used to not crop my pictures so here’s the next collage.

I thought that’d be a good idea. All my years of blogging…I get nostalgic for my 2017 shoots. I just recently cut all my hair off and now it’s just past my neck, so no more blonde left over. I’m surprised it’s finally January, I took a definite break after Scary World. Now I’m not sure what’s next. I guess that requires emotional support. Or maybe I’m providing it by relishing in what I do. It’s pretty easy to love yourself when you’re me but that’s not the same as hard work. It might be someday. Maybe hardwork on myself will really change me. Maybe hardwork on my blog will really make me feel complete. Maybe I should stop fantasizing about moving out and do more blogshoots in this same room. It’s the same damn room as 2015 on the blog. Original Gangstress was my first ever blogpost and it was done at a different side of the same blue house. How that makes me feel almost 6 years later? Older. It just makes me feel older. Maybe I’ve grown up or maybe I’m just more mature. I did this shoot right before I turned 22. So that’s pretty cool but I need to push for something next. Just next.

Side of the House

That’s about it. These pants are even from Goodwill by the way. Oh well, another simple story with a graphic tee. I’m thinking, for the new year, of changing everything. It all starts with It’s Not Me (which I’m again mentioning) finally flips to the second page, off the front page. I’ve finally posted enough to get past that one. It was a post to make up for not posting a lot that year and it was hefty with like 4 main photoshoots involved. Now even though everything I’ve done in 2020 was better to me than that post, it still makes sense for 2019. This is also from 2020 like I mentioned, but other than that it’s good. I’m all good. I got this. I’ve got a handle on this new year and I’m excited to perform. It all starts with my current perfume obsession or how often I paint my nails. I’m excited for a cozy post, good makeup, fun shoot in my room with makeup I can list and a nail color I’ll get good pictures of. This polish I used in this shoot was Jenni I think from Julep. There we go, now that’s it. I ran out of MAC Foundation Powder recently so now I just use samples and Flesh. I got some really good brushes from Ipsy though. And that’s it, I’ve said that’s it but that’s all I got for now. I’m running out of Christina Aguilera fragrances but at least I have a ton of Xtina inspire posts. If I were you I’d just search my blog for something like that. Have a good day and a fun year. I got this in the bag. Even if it’s just graphic tees right now, haha, I got this.