When I first started blogging I was 16. I had this camera that took really good pictures so I just started dressing up for my own camera. I then tried different lightings and stuff only to find out the settings on my camera were way better than adding some light to the pictures. This was a cool discovery because my pictures started getting better the next year. I was blogging a lot in 2016-17. I’m pretty sure I’m a blogger-meant-to-be. I grew up being a blogger. I used to have the best poster-covered walls in the world. So many pictures taken in my mom’s house in my room. I grew up here. And now in the same room I dream a lot. I have the weirdest dreams actually. Last nights were super interesting. I keep having these dreams where I’m somewhere like glass houses or something. My dreams will be forever changing and accumulating as I live and blog. I’m sometimes trapped in my dreams but I totally know why. This dream last night I was in a car driving to some place to stay for a while (similar to rehab) but I was first finding a place to get food, like I was looking for pancakes. My dad was in the dream and he was searching for me but we couldn’t find each other, I was just extremely lost. I see why it was pancakes but my dad and I have a history of crepes so I guess just breakfast food. We were in this weird dystopian society and I wasn’t sure I’d get to the other side or find him. It was a weird kind of lost. I’ll explain more about that later on in this post, lol.

I need to get out more I think. I’ll tell you all more about that in my next blog post I have to do which is another shoot I did with my ex-boyfriend. That’s the I-get-out-all-the-time blog post. Him and I are back to photoshooting together so that’s hot. This shoot I did alone in my room with my latest Dolls Kill order. In fact this shirt might still be available. Just search for Current Mood on the site, if this blog post just dropped. The shirt was called Hit the Headlines. I have so much left to shoot from there. It’ll be Dolls Kill for days coming up, even old orders that I’ve had forever that I’m finally getting around to.

My hair was starting to get repetitive this year, it kept being the same hairdo ever since I cut my hair. This time I finally put it up for a shoot. I love this shirt with all my heart and these leggings are also recent from Dolls Kill. And about being trapped vs. lost in a dream, think of it like, I’ve done so many shoots at the house and in my dreams I’m the same person, new terrains, so the setting of the dream is usually my expression of where I am to myself in life. If I’m lost in my dream it usually means I’m not in the right place in real life, like how I did this shoot a month ago when my skin was struggling and now it’s healed more and I’ve done so much since doing this but I’m just now writing about it, but I knew I had this coming. I knew this was the next thing I needed to post. So what do I think of it?

What I think of this outfit is that it’s graphic. I had just gotten this order and I was definitely ready to shoot it, despite everything I’ve said in my last posts. It’s crazy how none of my shoots look the same even though all I have is the same settings all the time to do this shit. All the past blog posts – one day I’m going to make it with my blog and this will be something someone digs up and they’ll say it’s their favorite photoshoot, and I’ll have a bunch of new likes on this post. I also can’t drive by the way, so about being a passenger in that weird dream I had to trust the person driving. And since I was trying to find my dad there was a bunch of unreliable people and seatbelts in that dream. I almost forgot about that actually. Oh well, like my CD collection? My poster wall isn’t the best these days but eventually I’ll get more pictures on that side of the wall. Maybe what I’m missing in my dreams is that perspective, that dream or vision. Because it is one.

I definitely also wore my flame boots that I’ve worn a million times in different shoots, so check out Hot on My Heels to see a bunch of the other shoots I put these in. Those are populated heels if you catch my drift. Way too many photoshoots with these. That’s okay though! They’re from my Nasty Gal days. Oh boy Nasty Gal. I have like 2-3 things left from there that I’ve never shot. Eventually I’ll get around to doing old clothes like that for my blog. I also had this ad-junct dream last night where I was walking around from closet to closet with my cousin looking for different things for outfits. I seriously had both dreams last night. I remember it pretty clearly! There was a moat we were walking beside, leading us to our outfits or whatever. Hahaha, my dreams are kind of funny. Anyway! This is called Hit the Headlines because that’s what the shirt was called, but connecting that to that dream I’d say I usually dream at night about whatever I’m going to do the next day. Don’t ask how I know what I’m doing the next day but sometimes that’s what it reflects. I guess I’m a little lost today. Oh well, I’ll ‘find-out’!

A lot of thin-cropped photos of my full-body with heels in-tact. So many hyphenated phrases. Oh well, I’m excited about this shoot. I still have a whole bunch left to show you. I’m excited about my life! I need to cool it on buying clothes for a while since I have so many clothes left to shoot, but that’s an easy fix. I could cool it a little on a few of these things. Oh boy how I wish I had a song that went with this shoot but I don’t. I used to relate everything I shot to a song. But oh well! I wonder what year I did the best with my blogging. 2018 was a struggle for me because I ended up cramming a bunch of shoots into one post a few times. 2017 was probably my best year. 2019 I never even posted until 2020 because I was so behind or backed-up on my photoshoots. Oh well, I’m doing good so far this year, 2021!

Dangerous! I still have a bunch more pictures to add to this. Oh well, how do you like my salt lamp? I totally bought this when I lived with my mom and did a post all about it, Altar-ing Life, with my little side-table things. That was a good quality blog post. I think I say oh well too much. That’s okay though. My CD collection is in a few of my blog posts actually. I love taking pictures beside it. Since I have two big bookshelves in my room I rarely ever shoot on my poster wall. There was so many cool wall photoshoots growing up, I already mentioned that a little. I’ll just keep on going. So what do you think about dreaming? I think I’ve been doing really well lately with it, despite them being borderline nightmare. Which is funny because I’m never usually afraid of anything. I think this means I need to blog more on Worry Just Enough. I used to blog seriously on there on my feelings and how I feel about things. It was popular in one year of my life but my last post on there sucked. I can figure it out though!

My necklace here was also from Dolls Kill, it’s like a beaded silver one with a lock & key longer one. The two came together. My earrings though are these sterling silver Hello Kitty ones that dangle, and I love them with all my heart. My dollar sign chain around my waist was cool here too, but I can’t even remember for shit where I got it. I just have the thing. I love my lipstick here, it’s Trestique and called Georgia Peach. My skin though was struggling last month (when I did this shoot). Even through the makeup I can just tell that it was crap. I know how it happened too but my skin got randomly out of hand at one point when I switched cleansers. Oh well, it gets better in later photoshoots. Makeup helps but not ultimately. I’ll get it under control. I only have one more set of pictures and then I’m done here! This was a pretty long post actually. I’ll get better with my writing, the dream scheme skewed something about how I write because it was about something silly. We’ll see how things go after this.

Actually how I’m going to do this is I’m going to end with another un-cropped picture just for these three to make the most sense. My eyes are interesting here, lol. I’ll get better at the eye thing again! I eventually got really good at it when I was shooting all the time. I think I need to pick up the pace on me shooting so that I can post pictures within the same month as each other. That would be helpful. I’m sure I’ll get to that. Dang I really understand this blog post. I’m glad I remembered my dreams last night and I’m glad I’m finally around to posting this. I wish I had a little bit more active of a blog but I think that’ll just come with time. I think I’m getting pretty good at this. We’ll see how things go though. It’s all about onward towards the future to find myself on the other end of the spectrum. I’m there, I know I am, but right now I’m here ON the spectrum, waiting to come out the other side. There’s a place there on each space of the spectrum. I fit between each line and each of them is a time frame, or just at time. I’ll figure my way out of there. Love you all so much, thanks for reading! See you next time with more Dolls Kill.